TJL#9#Queen Of His Heart

Out Of Conversation

Isabella's POV

" Where did you got her?" I asked Edwin as I found he was carrying her in his arms to upstairs.

" Bella, you shouldn't help her. You know her life was in danger?" Edwin asked and I looked down.

Guilt has made me so low. He is right I shouldn't have helped Tasha like this. I know she is my best friend but this time we both did something stupid. But I am cursing myself badly as I lost my mind in tension. How can I help Tasha to be in trouble?!!

" I am so..sor... sorry." I said controlling hard on my tears which was about to fall down on my cheeks.

" Don't cry, Bella. I didn't meant to hurt you. But it wasn't at all right that you helped Tasha running away. She was going to be killed." Edwin said.

" I know that's why I am sorry." I said.

" Don't be. I know it was Tasha who forced you even emotionally blackmailed you for this." He said. He was right but still I am a fool for helping her. I still feel guilty. I am Stupid.

" I shouldn't listen to her and let her go out." I said.

" Don't think too much now go and sleep." He said.

Actually, Alan wasn't at home. He was with the securities searching for Ellie. I was so hurt and sad earlier. I called him but he rejected the call then messaged me not to call that he is busy. I was waiting for him. I was so tensed. I needed him to calm me down. I needed him to hold me to hug me and listen to my words. Only he does it no one else. I don't feel comfortable with anyone but him in this situation. I wanted to cry and erase the pain. I wanted it.

I was in my room but then suddenly Tasha came in and told me to help her to go out of the house cause she wants to go to the kidnappers as they wanted her as a ransom and she asked me to help her to go out of here, so that no one knows but me. I was a fool that I got convinced with those emotional blackmails of hers. I am such a fool, such a stupid, such a moron. I wanted to bang my head somewhere. Why am I like this!!!

" What happened?" I heard Alan's voice from the doorstep. I got up and ran to him. I threw my hands around his neck and hugged him tightly while crying hysterically. I was only crying and crying.

" Bella, please. Tell me what happened?" He asked.

" I messed up everything." I said.

" What did you do now?" He asked patting my head.

" I told you I messed up everything." I said and kept hugging him tightly.

" How come?" He asked.

" You won't understand. I did very very bad thing. You will hate me too if I tell you. So, I am not telling you." I said in his embrace.

" I will never ever hate you. Over my dead body. I just wanted to know. Just like that. It's ok if you don't want to tell me." He said and his one arm was around my waist and another was patting my head.

" I helped Tasha to run away." I said to him. He looked at me confusedly.

" What!!? You did what?" He asked. I just sighed and looked at him. Then I explained him everything. He just listened didn't interrupted me. But when I was finished he looked at me blankly.

" Look, I told you that you will hate me too. This why I didn't want to tell you." I said. I took steps back and away  from him. I was about to turn but he pulled me to him and made me collide with his body. He was looking at me intensely.

" Stop saying that, Bella. I will never ever hate you. You say me that again you will see the hell. Don't make me angry saying that." He said and looked at me more intensely.

I felt something weird in his eyes. Like they were holding thousands of emotions. I couldn't understand any of them, but I wanted to. Why is he so restless? I know he must be very worried about Ellie. But still I felt his eyes were trying to express some emotions but he is the one who is blocking them. He doesn't want to show his emotions to others. But I don't know why I love to express my feelings to him. I love the way he convinces me, I love the way he hugs me, he holds me. I want him always with me. I want him to care for  me always. What's on with me? I don't know because I myself am not known to these feelings. They are new to me. I don't know what they are.

" Did you understand me Bella?" He asked.

" Huh!?" I asked confusedly.

" I said if you ever try to tell me that I will hate you then you will be punished." He said.

" What kind of punishment is that?" I asked.

" Kind of horrible and it's sure that you won't like it." He said.

" Yeah, I don't like to be punished, but I love to be cared and pampered." I told like a baby and pouted. I don't know how he always manages to calm me down.

" That's why you shouldn't tell that I will hate you ever. Cause, hell will be frozen before I do it, Bella. I will never do it." He said and then mumbled something. I couldn't figure it out.

" But, Alan. I did horrible thing today." I said.

" You have not." He said.

" Yes, I did." I said.

" I can understand your feelings, Bella. You did it for a reason and everything happens for a reason. Don't think about that now which has already happened. Can you stop that time and went there to make yourself not to help her?" He asked and I shook my head.

" Then relax. It hadn't happened. So, it's out of our conversation. Kick it out of your skull box." He said. I found myself nodding like a baby.