Forgot to Remember

Monday

Monday

Whistling a cheerful melody Dec made his way to Ali's office. Last night's show had been a success and he went to discuss the ratings and online reviews with his manager. He was happy that at least Ali was enthusiastic about his and Stephen's show. His family still find it weird seeing him without Ant and Ant was jealous of Stephen. At the moment Ali was the only friend he could depend on to be enthusiastic about his happiness that the show was a success. As soon as he entered the office, Ali gave him a wide grin.

"Your dearest love has left you a surprise - Here you go."
She winked at him as she handed him the large brown envelope. Scrawled in large letters on the envelope were the words: 'To my Declan'
Dec wondered what his boyfriend might have gotten him. It was an envelope so it probably wouldn't be anything too exciting. He decided not to open it. That would serve Ant right, that damn stubborn git. He put the envelope into his briefcase and went on to discuss the show with Ali. Stephen soon joined them and it turned into a funny morning.

Ant, on the other side, slammed his fist on the rusted railing of the bridge. He was so tired of waiting for his life to take a turn for the better. After finishing their music career he hoped he could finally become as loved as Dec was. He never really was a singer while Dec was really good at it. Declan was also the cuter one out of the two of them and so all the girls loved him. When they started Sm:tv it seemed like his life was finally looking up. He found Lisa and he was finally happy. And then: he fell in love with Declan. He thought that maybe he could ignore those feelings and put everything into his relationship with Lisa. It didn't work out and he broke up with her. The only problem was that Dec was still in a relationship with Clare. One kiss was needed and he was lost. They became a couple and Ant had seen forever in those sparkling blue eyes. But then his heart gave out and he became a nobody. From Britain's most loved presenter to a nobody. He hated his body for betraying him. He kicked the railing with all his might. The water was freezing cold... but oh so welcoming.

Back in Ali's office Dec look down at his coffee soaked t-shirt and jeans. Ali had accidentally spilled her coffee all over Dec. The hot liquid burned so he jumped up.
"Shit!"
Ali looked close to tears, continuously apologising while Stephen laughs at his predicament. Dec pats the blondes shoulder, saying that it was alright. He went to the toilet to get changed. Thank god there were always some clothes from their shows lying around here. As he headed down the corridor he heard footsteps behind him. Dec stopped in his tracks. Slowly turning around he was met with Stephen's smirking face.
Letting out an exasperated breath Dec said, "You stay in the office and help Ali."
"Don't you need help?" Stephen asked suggestively grinning.
"With what?" Dec understood fully well what his co-presenter meant but played dumb.
"Changing."
"Definitely not from you. Just go back will you." Dec growled in irritation.
"Okay. If you're sure."

Having changed into fresh clothes, he wished that it was Ant being here with him now, not Stephen. Ant wouldn't have laughed at him, he'd have helped him. Even though he was annoyed by his boyfriend behaviour, he loved his silly, jealous Ant. He then remembered the brown envelope Ant had left him. He took it out of his briefcase and opened it carefully. He pulled out the contents and looked at it puzzled. Those were legal documents and there was also one single sheet of ruled paper. He unfolded that first and read the letter.

"My darling Decky,

I wonder if I even have the right to address you as 'My Darling' any longer.

Ant and Dec Productions is yours. It's completely yours. Name it Declan or Donnelly Productions if you want to. I've signed over my shares to you. I'm not gonna be in your way any longer. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

What else can I say? The better man won. I hope he makes you as happy as you have made me these past four years. I guess we weren't meant to grow old together. You deserve all the happiness in the world. May all your dreams come true.

I'm sorry for being such a git. Blame it the two months I'm younger than you.

You are and will always be the greatest love of my life. Till we meet again.

Forever Yours

Anthony"

Till we meet again - Had Ant walked out on him? He had to go home now. He ran out of the building without saying goodbye to Ali and Stephen and hurried home. Arriving at home he went straight to the bedroom and looked around in panic but everything was exactly where it should be. Ant's clothes were still in the wardrobe and all his other belongings were there too. It was just a break up letter. But it wouldn't be for long, Dec would only need to talk to him.
He cursed himself. Ant must have felt really lost to resort to this. It was time he showed Ant how much their relationship still meant to him. He dug up the Love Time Table he had made. All that was written on it were three measly dates. Only the first of which they had been able to enjoy. The other two he had broken because of Stephen's demands. No wonder Anthony felt neglected. Ant was someone who never broke a promise and here Dec was breaking two dates. He was going to fix this. And he was going to do it now. Stephen would have to wait this time.
He changed into some more comfortable and more importantly some of his own clothes, planning how to convince Ant that he was still the most important person in his life. Just as he picked up his jacket he saw something sticking out from under the bed. It was the strap from Ant's briefcase. Strange, Dec thought, why would Ant go to work without his briefcase.

He called Ant but his phone was switched off. He then tried calling Ant in his office but an assistant answered instead of his boyfriend.
"Hello. How can I help you?"
"Hi. This is Declan Donnelly. Is Anthony McPartlin around?"
"Why would he be here, if I may ask?" The girl asked confused.
"Because he works there." Dec said and chuckled. What kind of question was that?
"I know that Mr McPartlin works here but he took a day off. He said he'd spend it with you Mr Donnelly..."
Dec hung up the phone. A shiver ran down his spine and he almost collapsed there and then when he re-read the letter. The terrifying message Ant was trying to convey jumped out and grabbed him by the throat.

This wasn't a break-up or a goodbye letter.
This was a suicide note.