Forgot to Remember

Friday

Friday

Ant's sleep was disturbed by the strong beam of sunlight falling through the window right on his face. He yawned but as he patted his open mouth to stem the yawn he remembered the dream he had. He carefully rubbed his lips with two fingers wondering what that dream could have meant. Did that mean he was gay? It could be. It would explained why he had always felt sweaty and out of breath around Isaac Jones, the hockey team captain. But whatever he felt when he was with that man in the red jacket felt so real. It was as if they belonged together. If only he could remember. The only thing that Ant was certain of was whoever that man may be, he definitely had the most beautiful blue eyes Ant had ever seen. As he sat there, trying to remember every detail of that dream two names suddenly popped up in his head - Cat and Ali. He vocalised each name out loud. When he said the name Cat the image of a blond girl appeared before his eyes. "Yours is still a young love isn't it?" he heard the woman asking him. Then he said the name Ali and what came to his mind made him chuckle. It was like a looped video clip playing in his head. He saw a blond woman dropping a cup of hot coffee onto a man's lap making the poor man scream in pain.

"Oh! Good Morning." Tanja cheerfully greeted him when he entered the kitchen.
"What would you like to eat?"
"I don't know. All I know is that I'm hungry." Ant said as he took a seat at the table.
"Boys! You never grow up."
Tanja opened the fridge to take out some eggs and a bowl of batter. As she was closing the door Ant spied something in there.
"Yogurt," he shouted.
"So you want yogurt, hmmm."
She took out the sealed cup opened it and gave it to Ant, handing him a spoon along with it.
"I love yogurt, especially blueberry yogurt." Ant said as he spooned a large helping into his mouth. He was startled by his own answer. He didn't eat yogurt when he had been in Newcastle. His dad never bought it as he thought it was unnecessary spending of money.
"I think I started eating yogurt after I started living in London." he said out loud but his declaration was addressed to nobody in particular. Tanja's doubts of the previous night dissipated just a little after this statement. The boy truly seemed to be suffering from amnesia. She sat looking at him as he finished the yogurt and then proceeded to chow down toasts, sausages and 2 hard boiled eggs.

"For a person who eats so much, it's a wonder you aren't the size of a sperm whale." the lady said and chuckled. Ant stopped in mid bite.
"Say that again,"
"For a person who eats so much it's a wonder you aren't the size of a sperm whale." Tanja repeated. Her words somehow drew up the image of two girls firing paintballs at him.
"Paintball," Ant said out loud.
"Did you remember something?" Tanja asked, unable to control her enthusiasm.
"Yes, I was on a children's TV drama. I was an actor and on the show I was blinded in a paintball accident."
"Maybe you're still an actor and not a presenter." She said thoughtfully.
"It's possible. Man! This is so frustrating." Ant snapped angrily and slammed his fist on the counter. Tanja gently kissed his forehead and hugged him, "Shhh... have patience it's coming back. It'll all come back to you soon enough."

Later he sat reading the newspaper as he waited for Adrian and Tanja. They had said they would take him to a brain specialist and then take him around Chiswick. Restarting with the burnt photo studio, which he had recognised the previous evening. They would walk around a bit and then head to A&D Productions as that was the only solid lead they had of his missing years. He read the front page headlines - nothing special. He read the crime watch column - other than a fat thief who got stuck in a vent while trying to escape, nothing else caught his attention. He turned the page to the entertainment and society columns. There he saw something that grabbed his attention and held it firm. It was a picture of a brown haired, grinning man. His puzzlement at what caught his attention was soon replaced by anger when the words "I just want to get into his pants," rang in his ears clear as a bell, followed by a mocking laugh and a nickname that he despised "Anty boy."

Anthony didn't know the man in the picture but he was sure he hated him. The visit to the brain specialist had cheered him up; Ant wanted to kiss the man when he had said that his memory loss was most probably only temporary as there had been no injury to the brain. On the other hand their walk had been a disappointment. Just as the previous evening nothing other than the burnt building looked remotely familiar. When they walked past an old unused carpark though, something caught his attention. On the wall was a poster, well the remains of it but he could clearly see himself and a women standing next to him. It must have been some kind of advertisement but for what, he wondered. There were only two letter to be seen, 'Sm' and then nothing. He looked at the smiling girl next to him. Somehow she looked familiar. Ant suddenly realised who she was. He'd ready thought of her this morning. This was Cat. Cat... Cat... Deeley, that's it. Cat Deeley. But for the life of him, he couldn't make out, what this ad was for. Disappointed he got back into the car with Adrian and Tanja. He didn't speak until he noticed that they were on the way home.
"Bring me to A&D Productions. I want to find out how I am connected with that. I want at least something to get clearer."

Adrian was excited. This young man's memory seems to come back. Even if it is just little pieces of information. It has been only two days since he was released from hospital. But Adrian's elation dimmed when they reached A&D Productions. The building was closed and it didn't look like there had been many people going in and out of it lately. Adrian got out of the car and spoke to a kind passerby. Ant watched Adrian approach the man and strained his ears to hear the man's answers to his enquiries.
"Sir, this place," Adrian asked pointing at Ant and Dec Productions, "what time do they start working here?"
The man answered politely but regretfully, "They most probably won't open for sometime. There has been a death in the owner's, Mr Donnelly's, family. They'll most probably open again only after an appropriate time of mourning."
Even though Ant was weighed down by not being able to find out more, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the unknown Mr Donnelly. Losing a family member was always painful. After some more small talk with the stranger Adrian dejectedly climbed back into the car.
"Anthony I'm sorry," he apologised to the young man.
"Can we go back to your place now please? I feel so tired." Ant begged the older couple.
"Of course," Tanja said as started the car again.

Ant popped a couple of painkillers and lay in bed waiting for the throbbing in his head to cease. On his way home he suddenly remembered how his dad left and his mam had to work in three jobs to bring him and his sister up. He remembered feeling really nervous going to the audition of Byker Grove and that feeling being even worse on the actual first day of filming. Thankfully he soon sank into oblivion as the painkillers took effect and he fell into a dreamless sleep. After he woke up and joined the couple in their dining room he watched Tanja set the table and knew it was appropriate to tell these kind people that his memories were returning. He knew they'd be happy for him.
While talking about Byker Grove, he remembered a girl who played a character named Debbie. That girl became his girlfriend on and off screen. He told the elderly couple everything about the show and his girlfriend. He knew that they broke up soon after the show finished but couldn't remember why.