Forgot to Remember

Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning

Dec hurried into the bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water adjusted to the right temperature, he quickly picked up his toothbrush. Spreading paste on the bristles he put it in his mouth. After returning the paste tube to its rightful place inside the cabinet he started brushing; that's when his glance fell on the mirror and on his own reflection. He looked downright ill. His untrimmed beard and the livid bruise colouring his forehead, made him look like a homeless person who had been in a drunken fight the previous night. Well come to think of it he had been in a drunken fight the previous night. Though it had only been with his own self, it still was a violent fight that he had lost eventually.
Declan felt ashamed of his appearance. Even after all those years he still hated it, when Ant ever saw him looking anything less than perfect. What a pathetic picture he must have made when his boyfriend came home last night. He cautiously touched his forehead and flinched in pain. He heard the clatter of dishes in the kitchen which reminded him that Ant was home safe and sound. The rest just didn't matter anymore.
He rinsed his mouth then checked the shower water. Finding that it had reached the correct temperature he got in. As he scrubbed his face with his hands something scratched his face. That's when he realized he was still wearing the ring. He hoped that Ant hadn't noticed. Then he remembered something else. He had proposed to Anthony in his drunken stupor and shockingly Ant had given him a positive answer. So maybe he wasn't opposed to the idea of marriage

Ant listened to Dec's happy humming emitting from the bathroom as he set the table for breakfast. He smiled and for the millionth time thought to himself *It's good to be back home*
As he took out the cutlery from the drawer, Declan came out of the bathroom wrapped in one of Ant's red towels and headed towards the bedroom door. Ant remembered the night after their last SNT show, when he came out of the bathroom dressed like this. He greeted Declan with the words Dec had said to him that night.
"Hey Sexy!"
Dec turned back around to face him and smiled shyly.
"Breakfast is ready, get dressed quickly and come to the table before I eat everything up," Ant commanded with a mischievous wide grin. Dec hurried away. As he went through his clothes, something fell out and landed at his feet. It was the ring box. So Ant had found it and put it in his closet. He opened the box to put his own ring back and saw that the other ring had been moved from the upper slot to the lower one. So Ant had not only seen it, but taken it out and examined it as well. He hoped Anthony had liked what he had bought for the both of them and would proudly wear the ring he had purchased. But Declan was in no hurry. He would wait. He needed to wait before he popped the question again. The next time when he asked his man that life changing question, he would be sober as a rock.

Afterwards, Dec sat watching as Ant ate most of the stuff he had prepared himself. Anthony suddenly looked up at him and said with his mouth full, "Aft you goies to eas ansythink"
"What?" Dec asked puzzled unable to make out any of the words that had passed his boyfriends lips. Ant quickly swallowed and repeated his question this time understandably. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"
"I've eaten more than enough." Dec told him, to which Ant shrugged. After breakfast as Dec washed the dishes, Ant came around the kitchen island and hugged him from behind. Burying his face in the side of Dec's throat he took in a long breath, filling his lungs with the beloved smell perfume and softly murmured, "I missed you so much all week."
Dec quickly washed the soap off his hands. Turning around in the circle of Ant's arms he gently cupped his face in his palms and replied, "I missed you too, desperately."
Ant suddenly chuckled sadly, "I missed you ... even though I had no idea who the hell you were ... I just didn't remember you."
"What?" Dec exclaimed in shock. "You didn't remember me?"
"Yah that dunk in the river kind of froze my memory. I woke up, thinking that I was 12 years old and still in school."
Dec stood there, gaping at his boyfriend. With a gentle finger placed under Declan's chin, Ant closed his shocked boyfriend's mouth.
"Then how ...? ...you're home...? Who...? What...?" Dec stuttered unintelligibly.
"Come on, I'll tell you about my weird adventures of the last six days and then you can tell me yours." Ant suggested as he guided his boyfriend to the couch and they sat down. Dec instantly leaned against Ant and laid his head on his boyfriend's chest. He looked up into the hazel eyes and commanded, "Okay talk!"

"Well you know the part about the letter. Then I left home adamant on ending my life."
Dec shifted and hugged Ant tighter.
"I was standing on the side of the bridge, leaning against the railing thinking about Stephen and you, just generally feeling sorry for myself. I looked down at the water and I saw it rushing by at such a great force that slowly and steadily all thoughts of jumping into that cold water vanished. Then I thought maybe I should go to Newcastle to Sarha and was just about to make my way back here to pack, when I saw this couple having this huge fight right in the middle in the road. Then suddenly a car came barreling towards them the guy pulled the girl out of the way. Next thing I saw, they were kissing and I realized that leaving like a thief is no solution to our problem. What I had to do, was to talk to you. I had all the arguments ready in my head when I suddenly met ..."
After each had recounted the experiences of the past six days that they had spent apart, they finally took a breather.

"Wow!" Dec exclaimed, "That red jacket reminded you of me and brought you back home?" he asked in disbelieving astonishment. Ant laid a tender kiss on Dec's temple.
"That red jacket was what you wore the night we first slept together." Ant sighed, "I was so stupid then, wasn't I?"
"Thank God for your jealous streak, if you hadn't been so jealous of Clare, there would probably never have been a 'you and me', as I'd have never found out about your feelings." Dec said chuckling as he cuddled closer to Ant.
"If it hadn't been for my jealous streak I would have never really realized just how much you love me." Ant mumbled in a tight voice and then buried his face in the curve of Dec's throat. Declan felt the tears that were soaking up his t shirt.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
He cupped Ant's chin with his hand and tilted up the younger's face.
"Last night was the best and the worst night of my life. It was the best because I came to know just how much you love me. But it was also the worst because thanks to my cowardice at not handling our situation like an adult you are now sporting a horrible bruise. I'm sorry."
Dec looked at the teary face and smiled.
"I love you," he said simply and placed a gentle kiss on Ant's lips.
"Me too," Ant replied and pulled Dec into a tight embrace.

They lay together, lounging on the couch, blissfully kissing when Ant slowly pulled away.
"So everyone was here?" he asked nuzzling Dec's cheek.
"Yeah! Everyone was here. I guess they were scared that I would do something drastic if they didn't keep an eye on me."
"Does that mean everyone thinks I'm actually dead?"
"Yes they're pretty convinced that you're gone for good."
"Even Sarha?" the younger man asked in disbelief.
"Sadly she too thinks so. Christine on the other hand was the only one who helped me through all of this; she consistently believed that you'd come back to me. She's such a die hard optimist." Dec softly said
"I know," Ant agreed, "She is a complete optimist who refuses to give up at any cost."
"She kept telling me 'until his body is found Anthony cannot be declared dead'. Those words gave me some kind of solace and made me hope that just maybe by some miracle you'll come back to me," Dec told Ant as he gently brushed through his thick dark hair, "and you did."

Ant placed soft kisses along Dec's temple, cheek, jawline and traced a path with his lips down his throat. But his ministrations were obstructed by Declan's t-shirt.
"Get this thing off," Ant mumbled. Dec instantly obliged then returned the favour by carefully freeing Ant's torso of his disturbing shirt as well.
"God you look stunning," Dec murmured as he caressed his hands down Ant's chest until they came to rest at his waist. Ant giggled right before capturing Dec's lips in a tender but hungry kiss...
Afterwards, he limply lay across Dec's chest as their bodies cooled and their fast-beating hearts lowered their tempo.
"WOW!" the Ant exclaimed, raising his head slightly and kissing Dec on the side of his neck.
"I think we have successfully worked off all those calories from breakfast." he said smiling.
"Yep, definitely!" Dec answered with a straight face right before they dissolved into hysterical laughter.
"So what do you say to continuing our rendezvous in the bedroom," Ant asked with a suggestive smirk.
"Great idea! You ARE always full of Great Ideas!"
The couple got up, quickly collected their clothes and bolted to their room.