p r e t e n d | Joji

t w e n t y - o n e

joji, the one thing i've always admired about you was your strength.

you've always had this amazing strength to make things the way you want them.

and the path our lives were heading wasn't an exception

no, you didn't want to have a burden like me in your life, but you wanted me to be happy so, with all you strength, you made sure that was the case.

what you didn't realise was i wanted the same thing for you.

i wanted you to be happy,joji.

and if it's not with me, then i'm okay with that.

you never listened.

but then, i never told you, so how would you know...right?

you pushed yourself to do every single thing for me.

you pushed yourself to buy the cake from my favourite cafe everyday.

you pushed yourself to come to visit me twice a day.

you pushed yourself to laugh and smile when you were too tired to even breath.

you pushed yourself to fall back in love with me, even though we both know, your love became pure pity.

you had the strength to push,joji

but i didn't have the strength to pull you back,

to embrace you and make sure you're okay.

you didnt realise, didnt you?

that with all the strength you have, you were pushing yourself to love me, to still be loving me.

back when our innocent game of pretend started,i've always wanted something real.

but when we were finally living in reality, i'm not sure if i could handle the harsh truth,

that of all the things you've pushed for me, you were pushing off your hopes and dreams too.

right then, at that moment, when you served me the cake with that tired smile of yours,i wish we would go back to pretending again.

just the two of us, living,loving and pretending.
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a u t h o r' s   n o t e s
hey guys, sorry for not updating; i just had finals week.

i just wanted to say thank you for all the votes and comments you've been posting on my story, you have no idea how much i appreciate each and every vote and comment.

as for this story, i am not quite sure how i want it to end yet so if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave it in the comments.

thanks for reading

:)