Illegible Kisses

Chapter Four

You want to know something. When I returned back home yesterday , thought about what I did and how I treated her , I felt like an ass. A big one. I shouldn't have done that. She might hate me , she must actually after what I had done. 

I didn't see her today , maybe she was avoiding me. No , let me think about another thing. 

I don't get money just from school , I work for a publish company , I don't have to go and work in a certain place though , which is awesome. It is all about the internet now. I sit most of my free days checking new articles to give comments , say if there are mistakes before publishing it. It makes me earn some good money , really good. 

So I was sitting , listening to some Black Shelton's song while doing my job. The music made me feel chill while working. A spot light on the coffee table , some papers in my hands , a cigarette between my lips , burning as hell everytime I exhaled its smoke and a cup of whiskey next to the laptop. That's the best way to work in the mood.

Finishing the last comment and sending it through e-mail and rested my back on the couch. It was about six pm but it felt like midnight as I had closed all the windows and curtains. That what I call peace. 

I logged in my new Facebook account. I had to turn off everything I had on internet so nobody from my past , except my best best friends I have known since high school , would know where on earth I am. 

I kept scrooling down. Seems like everybody's life was going pretty well. Who got married , who had the best job , who had gone to Australia , China , Canada , New Zealand for a new perfect job and I was just here. 

I love my life like this , I don't care about the others and actually , I laugh everytime I see those kind of posts. I know they are not happy in real life , they are miserable more than I am. They are just crying behind their perfect smiles. And I'm so proud that I'm not like them. Fakers. 

I looked at the right side of the screen while filling up my cup once again with the dark golden drink I dig until I saw her picture at my friends' suggestions. I tried my best not to touch the touch pad and click to check her account. But it was so damn hard. 

My curiosity took over me and I entered and checked her pictures , I needed to see them. And from what I saw , she's what I was patiently waiting for. The perfect everything she already has. She seemed to play soccer. I love sportive girls. Her smile in every single picture made my heart race , not because of the feelings I should have but from imagining her smiling after what I'm planning to do with her. 

I decided to turn off everything and stood from my place to walk to my favorite place. I needed to talk to my old guy. Well maybe you thought I would really stop talking to him but I can't. I would be more miserable and more in a bad mood without him. So I picked my jacket up and went out my house.

When I walk towards his shop , I somehow prepare myself for the conversation. If you are wrong , he can make you feel guilty within seconds and you don't even have the power to argue with him because you'll never win. He is trying his best to make me a better guy but let us get this straight , I'm a hopeless case. I'm the murder case that it's hard to find who the murderer is. It won't work and I know that.

Anyway , I reached there and opened the door to find it the same as always , not crowded and makes you fell like home. I spotted him with her. He was teaching her or helping her to make a special kind of his secret coffee . But oh , damn that , I forgot that she would begin today. I slowly walked towards her and I could see how she was so concentrating to get what he was teaching her , she didn't even feel my presence , which was both great and annoying.

"Hey meu filho. Didn't see you this morning." Sánchez said with a gleeful tone. She looked at me then back to her work.

"Hey. Hey to you too Miss Bolter." I said , trying to get another eye contact with her but she didn't.