I Choose You

Chapter Thirty Five - He Destroyed Me

[Goals for the chapter: READS - 980 // COMMENTS - 3]

I stared at my TV screen, not even paying attention to what was happening. It wasn't even that I didn't care - I did - it was the fact that I was so absorbed with the fact of this whole Phillip thing. Our last lead did nothing, as a matter of fact, none of them did. I was tired of being fed false hope. I was tired of playing this game of hope to hopeless, in and of hospitals and precincts and everything else in between. I was more than tired of wondering every day where my family was, and where I would end up. It was like living in fear, a whole video game made out of my life.

I shut the TV off and slammed the remote into the table. How dare he do this to me? Maybe it was because I did something wrong, I did something worthy of this torture. I had to know. I ran up the stairs, tears falling again, into my room. I sat down in my chair and rubbed my face with trembling hands before turning on my laptop. The screen morphed into color after color, black to grey to white to blue to a swirl of green and yellows and blues, all before the screen stated one simple word: "Welcome."

As the computer welcomed me, I realized it was the one person - one thing - to welcome me in a long time. My family didn't welcome me home everyday, society didn't welcome me because they thought I was crazy. My own head didn't welcome me, because, well, maybe I was crazy. The computer, the one both smarter and dumber than us, had welcomed me. I was thankful, until I felt like I wanted to put my fist through the screen. It had stabbed me in the back. Although it was the one thing that welcomed me, it also spread the horrific lies about me, the ones that started it all. It was the computer's fault. "Screw you," I muttered through my teeth, clicking around on my home screen, looking for the IMs.

I clicked on his screen name, and took to the keyboard.
Why did you do it? What did I ever do? Just tell me, I'll fix it. I'll rid of me and whatever you don't like. It's okay, Phillip, just let me know all you hate about me. It's okay, it'll all be okay. Talk to me. I'm being nice here, Phil, I really am. I could be so mean to you, the way you have to me, but I choose not to. C'mon, tell me. Thanks, Alex.
I sighed and pushed the laptop back further on the table, then closed my eyes. I wanted to disappear from the world, poof into the air. There was no reason for me to be here. My family didn't need me, they weren't here, and everyone else, they thought I was crazy. They left. Jessie hasn't talked to me in what feels like forever, so what's the point? There was none. My laptop pinged with a message from Phillip.
I appreciate ur kindness loser
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, my hands still shaking, my feet cold.
Why did you do it? Answer me.

I walked to the bathroom, my bare feet cold on the tile floor. I stared I the mirror for a moment as the tears fell from my eyes, my hair a mess. I removed my shirt and stared a little longer before removing my pants, leaving me in a T-shirt and boxers. I took my boxers, then peeled my T-shirt over my head as I stared. I looked at myself up and down multiple times before stumbling back. I grabbed my chest and squeezed, pulling, trying to rip my boobs off. It didn't work. I sat on the toilet seat, staring down at myself. I cried harder and harder, now knowihg why he hated me. I wasn't the right person. Look at me, looking like this. It was all wrong, all of it. I hated me.

I sat on the toilet, bawling, not wanting to leave. I wanted to die there. Suddenly, I gagged, forcing me up and to turn, throwing the lid open. I kept crying, then gagged once more as I threw up all the contents I had in me - and maybe even my organs - coughing and gagging, spewing vomit all over the toilet.

Once I stopped, I flushed from my kneeling position, watching all the brown stuff low down the drain. I out the hands on the edge and placed my head o top of them and laid there, not moving. I breathed heavily, having a sore throat and loss of breath from al the heaving. I hiccupped, causing my to lift my head, thinking I was going to upchuck again. When I realized I wasn't, I put it back down, closing my eyes and returning to breathing.

After a while of laying, I got up and turned on the sink and got some water. I washed out my mouth, then brushed my teeth before picking up my clothes and walking to my room, naked. One of the perks of being alone. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper and got a fresh, baggy shirt and boxers. I pulled my shirt over my head, then slipped my boxers on under them. I sat on my bed as my laptop dinged again. I groaned as I stared at the flashing alert, not wanting to reach as far as I'd have to. The screen insisted on continuing it's blinking, enticing me. Finally, after growing annoyed with the constant blinking, I got up and clicked on the little box. It was Philip. The app loaded for what seemed like forever as I waited to see what he said, why he decided to mess with me. On the screen, in black under my last message was three, bone-chilling words.

I chose you.

 

 

[A/N: Oh, my gosh. I just want o thank everyone who is reading and voting on this because, honestly, I have gotten so far since when I started this story. I remember when I had my first read, and I tweeting Alex about it. It just so happened he answered me, and that honestly is what got me here. The fact that he tweeted and people actually began to read - nonetheless the ones who kept reading - got me this far. None of the credit really belongs to me, it's only the fact that I wrote it. A lot of it goes to Alex Bertie, who has inspired me to write this and to do so many other things, then helped get this story as popular as it is, and also all of my readers. the ones who voted and read every chapter. I wouldn't have nine-hundred and forty-something reads without my readers. So, thank you so much, and know every read, vote, follow and comment means the world to me.

-->Feedback?<--]