Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less - A Geetrick AU

Six: The Breakdown

*Day 4*

The snow had finally gotten lighter. Patrick observed this as he sat at a table, observing the view through an open window. He knew that California wasn't far away at all. One night and day more and he'd be off.

He took a moment to stop and wonder what could possibly be waiting for him in California. All of the songs made it out to be such a wonderful place, but he wondered if that wonderful place would ever really be right for him. He wondered if any place would ever be right for him. As he watched the snowflakes fall softly, he began to realize that what Gerard had said to him was true: he was an outcast, no matter how hard he tried to believe he wasn't. He found both pain and closure in the thought.

"Patrick?"

Patrick turned to see Gerard walking over towards him.

"What're you doing out here all alone?" Gerard sighed quietly. "You didn't wanna come to dinner with us?"

"I dunno," Patrick shrugged, looking back at the window. "I'm not that hungry today."

"Me neither, actually." Gerard looked out the window as well. "It's pretty out there."

"It is." Patrick smiled. "Gerard, why aren't you with Pete and Mikey? You should go and hang with them."

"Felt like a third wheel," Gerard admitted. "I decided to leave them alone. I thought they'd like that. Nice hat."

"Thanks."

Neither of them spoke up for a moment.

"Patrick, can I sit with you?" Gerard asked, nervously.

"Sure." Patrick shifted over a little bit, giving Gerard a little more room to join him on the viewing bench. Gerard sat down, nervously tapping his nails against the bench.

"Can we talk?" Gerard asked, piquing Patrick's interest. "It's about last night. I'm sorry, I-"

"Sh," Patrick whispered gently. "What happened happened. We don't need to bring it up. I mean, I'd rather just leave it be, if that's okay with you."

"Are you sure?" Gerard pried. "I... What I did back there... it was kind of unexpected... you seemed a little shocked. Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

"I'm fine." Patrick brushed off the question nonchalantly. "Let's forget it."

Gerard furrowed his brow, both in bewilderment and agitation.

"Okay," he tiptoed around the conversation. "Do you want some coffee or something? I feel like some coffee. I'll grab you one if you want."

"Coffee does sound pretty good, actually," Patrick said. "Thanks."

"Be right back," Gerard promised, standing up and heading away briskly. While Gerard was away, Patrick took the opportunity to assess what had just happened. He wondered if maybe he should've talked to Gerard about what had happened, but he quickly dismissed the idea. He'd never been one to open up about serious problems in his life, and as he'd learned from past experiences, it was for the better. If Gerard was willing to drop everything, then it was for the best.

"Here," Gerard had returned, two peppermint-striped mugs in his hands. "Here's yours."

"Ugh, you have no idea how much I needed coffee," Patrick commented, taking the mug Gerard was handing him gently. "Thank y- wait, what's this?"