Dear Brother

22. Visiting Hours

This chapter...I dont actually know whether people can do this (go into prison to visit their abusers), but I dont care, this is what happens in MY story. Don't complain. Hope you like it: we see how Iyden really feels.

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Iyden felt sweat form on his hands and his heart hammer a little faster as he aproached the doors. WEST PRISON was plastered over the glass dorrs and above them, making him feel a little sick.

He went straight into the reception, wrapping his arms around his own waist to comfort his nerves.

"I'm here to see Josef Kyner at the visiting hours." he said strongly, without a single stutter. Haydrian woud have been proud.

"Alright, come this way." the prison guard, who was standing by the glass door, said stonily.

The Prison had told Josef Kyner he would have a visitor, but he didnt know it would be Iyden. No one knew he was here, no one even knew he'd had the urge...

He had an urge to visit him.

Iyden walked down the cold, bleak corridor, and eventually the officer opened the door into the meeting room.

Prisoners were sitting at small tables opposite visitors: within seconds, Iyden could see Kyner. His stomach was gurgling angrily, all his nerves told him to go back, they were screaming at him to go back home where he was safe, but Iyden needed to have adventure. He needed to feel power.

He needed to feel something.

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"What is he doing here?" the familiar voice spat. "Why is he here? Get him out!"

Iyden felt a small, sick smile twist onto his face, and he sat down on the plastic chair opposite his abuser and laughed.

"See? Can't you see, he's mad!" Kyner said hurriedly. "Get him out of here, I don't want to see him!"

"You don't want to see me? I don't want to see you either," Iyden growled lowly, leaning forward a little. "I hate you. Oh, I hate you so much, but I'm here to remind you."

"Remind me of what, you disgusting piece of-"

"You didnt think I was so disgusting when you were pulling my trous-"

"Enough! Officer! Get him out!" Kyner sounded distressed now, and other prisoners were starting to stare. The nearest office laughed and shook his head.

"Nope." the officer said slowly and clearly, and carried on patroling the room.

Iyden felt guilt rise up in his stomach, but it was soon repressed by the familiar feeling a hate for the man. He was average height and balding, his fingers stubby and face slightly wrinkled. His fingers...Iyden could remember those.  They were the fingers that bruised him, that had pulled flesh away from bone, that had touched him-

Prison aged people, because they were wrinkled now, like shrivelled sausages.

"I hate you, you know." Iyden said quietly, catching Kyner's attention. He flickered his eyes to the boy, who he remebered. Oh, he remembered him. "You ruined my life. You were sadistic- you kidnapped me from a holiday with my family, and just before then you killed my uncle. You drove my father to madness by stalking him...my mother left us. Haydrian and I were having a holiday, it was meant to be nice and easy. Stay with his old family friend...Then, you kidnapped me.

"Why me, eh? I've never understood. You could have taken a little girl, you know, much easier to rape," Prisoners around him stared at Kyner, one of them pounding their fist into his hand. "guess they don't know you're a rapist in here?" Iyden smiled and looked down into his lap, and then back up at Kyner, who looked mortified. It was an ugly expression on an already ugly face. "You could have picked anyone...but you chose me.

"You hit me. You locked me in a cellar in a foreign country in the dark for years. You threw things at me when you were angry. You fed me the scraps from your table what the dog had gotten first. You'd come down in the dead of night and hurt me. I knew about stuff that you're not meant to know unless you're gay and old, but oh no, you ruined it. You ruined my innocence, and... and I want it back."

"You can't have it back." Kyner spat, voice low and gruff, but Iyden smiled still.

"This is my revenge...reminding you. I'm reminding you of all sorts of things. You have children, don't you? I read it somewhere in the newspaper...actually, I think I saw one of them a Court, but she hid her face. Ashamed, aren't they? You can't see them because of what you did to me. You had a wife, and a German mistress, I believe...

"You can't eat ice cream in here, but I bet your kids would love to have a normal dad and go out and get ice cream with them. I bet you'd love to sleep well a night, but I don't either. I barely sleep: I've tried so many pills, and funnily enough, they don't work. They don't work because I'm so fucking disturbed. All because of you. And I'm remind you." Iyden hissed.

"Just go away, will you? I think you've said enough." Kyner snarled. Iyden clapped his hands together in delight.

"I don't want to! It sounds crazy, doesn't it?" Iyden thought he sounded crazy. "But it doesn't feel normal when I'm being 'normal'. Does that make sense to you? I feel normal when I'm being hurt and locked up in the dark. You're the one who has made me not normal, you know... I'm just here telling you that,too."

"You're torturing me- you're as bad as you think I was!" Kyner growled, attempting to kick the boy, but an officer grabbed him and pulled him off the chair so that he was far from Iyden.

"Yes, I am, because I'm doing what you did to me, to you. And I'll be doing it more often. Hope you're well, Mr Kyner. I'll see you next time." And with that, Iyden stormed out of the room as quickly as he could.