Dear Brother

32. Bandages Seen and Dragonfly Soap

Iyden swallowed painfully and looked over at Dale, who was sitting on the grass, picking at it angrily with his fingers in the warming breeze. Iyden walked over to him, head down and sleeves pulled over his hands. He felt thin and fragile, as though the gentle wind would break him, but he chose to ignore it and brace himself for what Dale was going to say.

Surely, he'd hate him. Iyden had run away, only having two conversations with him via text. He'd refused to talk about the abuse with him...it felt uncomfortable. He hated the thought of Dale knowing: but he'd figured it out.

It was Iyden's deepest, darkest secret, and his only friend had figured it out; it hurt. The thought of someone else knowing felt as though they were stabbing him every time they looked at him, yet somewhere deep down, Iyden knew that Dale wasn't going to hurt him like his father had.

Iyden sat down next to Dale, and tried to smile.

Dale smiled back; the smile was small and unusure, but it was a smile all the same.

"How are you?" Iyden asked. Dale shrugged.

"Okay, I guess..." his eyes flickered across Iyden's bandaged arms. "Again?" he asked quietly, and Iyden nodded so that his black hair fell into his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I don't know what to say."

"Hmm...neither do I." Dale laughed a little, pushing his curly hair from his face and flushing. "I guess...I could say I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

Iyden's insides flipped, gurgling and then suddenly, it felt like his heart exploded. No...no, you've got to be kidding me.

"Please, Dale..."

"I could say I hate you- you're the reason my dad's in prison-" Dale could feel something rise in his throat. He needed to say it- he needed Iyden to know the small, horrid feelings that were racing around his emotional circuit.

Yes, he hated Iyden a little- he'd always wanted his dad to be with him, to do fatherly things like playing ball in the back garden, or helping him with his homework. Iyden was the reason he wasn't able to have a proper relationship with his father...Yet his father was a monster, and had hurt Iyden; no one should have been subjected to what Iyden had been through in his life, and Dale would prefer his father to be locked up forever for his crimes than to be wandering the streets but helping Dale with his homework.

"He..he did things to me-" Iyden stuttered, his eyes wide.

"I could say I hate the way you act, all because of some stupid abuse-"

Dale let the words slip out, burning his throat, and he immediately regretted it. Yes, sometimes he thought Iyden should just get over it, but that was only a small thought in his head, when he was half drunk from a wild party, or bitter about his life. No, Iyden could act the way he wanted, because what had happened to him was horrible. God, Dale regretted saying that.

"- I was fucking raped-" Iyden snarled, and Dale saw anger flash in his eyes. Pure, deep anger that Dale hadn't known Iyden could posses. Shit, Dale was doing badly...

"Jeez, Iyden, I'm joking!"

Iyden breathed deeply, letting his anger out, but he couldnt smile.

"You...you're joking?" he muttered, feeling his heart beat a little slower, more like a panting dog than a sprinting hound.  

Dale smiled widely and shuffled towards Iyden more.

"Of course I am, jeez!" he replied. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "God...Iyden, I've come to like you even more than I did as soon as we became friends. I respect you for what has happened to you... I like the way you act, you're quirky and fun sometimes too. I don't mind that you're shaky and unsure, and-and I'm always here to help, Iyden, I promise. 

I hate what my dad did to you, I'm glad he's in prison....He deserves to rot in hell, and I'm so sorry." He took a small breath, flexed his arms slowly, and then hugged his friend.

To Dale's suprise, Iyden hugged  back, his thin arms warm and his body smelling of Dragonfly Soap. "I'm so, so sorry..."

"I'm sorry too."

"W-we're still friends, right?"

Iyden nodded, and then smiled. Dale thought he looked like Haydrian when he smiled. They were great brothers to each other, and Dale wondered whether all three of them could get along. He was pretty sure they could, and he felt a huge smile come over his face.

"Best friends." Iyden replied, and sighed a deep breath of relief.

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

- George Washington