Bound To Myself ~ West✔️

Alone

The rest of the time Isaac and I had together kinda went like that. Isaac had distanced himself again. No matter how many times I said sorry, he still flinched away from me. He still couldn't meet me in the eyes. When we drove around, from school or back to school, his hands gripped the seats, like he feared for his life.

I felt horrible.

It had taken me the longest of time to get my brother back, after she left. Now he was gone, all over again. He hadn't blamed me the first time, yet he still distanced himself. Now he did blame me, I couldn't imagine what was coming in the future.

After she had disappeared, both Isaac and I also did. Dad didn't help too much. He was in his own world of grief and we were on our own. We all dealed with it in different ways.

Dad got himself busy. He was at work more than ever. He barley came home to sleep, sometimes he didn't even come home. He just kept himself at work for awhile. He only came out of that place, when Isaac started having his own problems. Problems with bullying and getting sent home because of violence use.

Isaac sealed himself off from the world. He stopped going out with friends and he slowly lost them too. He went out a lot alone, and he came home smelling like seaweed and his hair was damp sometimes. I never asked him, but I always thought he went to the beach. A place our mother also loved.

I did the worst of them all. I drank. I stopped caring for everyone around me, and I just wanted to forget. Morning. Noon. Night. Weekday. Weekend. School night. Anything. I wanted to just forget it all. It ruined me. It ruined Isaac.

I had promised him at one point that I would never drink again. I had kept my promise for awhile, not breaking it, not until this screw up. This time I screwed up bad. Really bad. I didn't know how to fix it ether.

As we drove to school, for the last time before we would have to go pick my dad up from the airport tonight, I looked over and my brother and wondered. Wondered if the funny, smart, nice boy that she had left behind was still somewhere in there. Would that boy forgive me? Would this boy forgive me?

I didn't think they was the question though. Could I forgive myself? Sadly I knew the answer to that one too, I couldn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note

Ok. This chapter and this part is over. Again. I'm sorry for the slightly shorter part.

If it was just a little bit longer it would have met my goal but oh well.

Thought on the chapter?

Does anyone have any good song suggestions? I need music.

Word Count: 484