Falling for the devil! a zacky vengeance fanfic

Pretending everything is ok

CASSIE POV

Five weeks had passed since I had been released from the hospital. Megan and Zack was both in the spare rooms to make sure I wasn't alone. The only problem was Megan had to be leaving today to go back to work. I told her I will be fine and Zack promised her he would take care of me. I also overheard him promise her he would not make any moves on me and would call her if I needed her or he was unsure of anything. I had become too scared to leave my own home and ended up seeing my sister off from the front door. Matt offered to give her a lift to the airport thank god so Zack didn't have to leave me alone. I didn't have to worry about money as Linds was paying me to take time off till I felt right again. She was also letting Zack work less shifts so he could work around Katey to stay with me. I was sad to see my sister go and suddenly felt awkward being in the house alone with Zack. It wasn't awkward because of what had happened between us, it was awkward because I realy did love him and I now I had told him this that night in hospital. I wish I kept my gob shut because how do I even know he meant what he said? I wanted to try and help him fall for me if it wasn't true but I was unsure of how to do that and didn't believe in myself anymore. All my confidence was gone.

"What you want to do today?" Zack asked me smiling sweetly sitting on the sofa oposite me. I kept my eyes on the tv not wanting to make eye contact. I shrugged in response when he stayed silent waiting for my reply. "You wanna go out? You wana watch a movie or oh hell I will even let you put makeup on me if it will cheer you up" I smiled at his suggestion but shook my head giggling quietly at him. He was sweet when he wanted to be. "You hungry? I could make us something to eat" I got the sudden craving for fattening bbq food and from what I remembered Megan bought me a new bbq. "Could you do something on the bbq outside?" I asked only just audible. I loked at Zack to see a smile of relief come across his face. "You wanna sit outside with me while I cook?" I nodded dropping my knees then the idea hit me. I wanted some kind of normal again and most people would say it is to soon but I felt I needed peple to treat me like nothing had happened to me. "You think Linds, Katey and the other's would wanna come round? I know I am not much fun to be around right now but I feel I need to try and get back to normal again" He paused watching me with an expressionless look on his face. I knew he would think it was a bad idea but I guess it was worth a try. "Yeah sure if you are ok with that and feel you can cope" Zack replied placing his hand on my knee. I nodded in reply as I stood to my feet to head outside. "I will call everyone now then ok?" I shouted back into the house ok as I began to lift the lid off the bbq to check it was ok and pull some tables out so there was room for everyone. Zack then joined me outside and began to help me set up. 

"How you feeling today? You look a lot better, more colour in your skin" I smiled and nodded in reply as we continued to set up seats for everyone. I hoped nobody would bring up what happened but only time would tell. "Your off your meds now so how about we get some alcohol in?"I nodded again in reply. "You sure your ok? You have gone very quiet all of a sudden" Shit! Was me feeling awkward that obvious? I stopped what I was doing and just looked back at him wishing he would love me in return for real. I don't know why but I needed him right now more than ever and the knowing we could of been expecting parents right now broke my heart. I wouldn't of tried for one obviovusly, I would of been scared and unsure but knowing I had life inside of me that is now gone really tore me up. "Cassie?" I was shaken from my thoughts and didn't realise a few tears had fallen down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and began to act normal again. "I'm ok Zack, I just got a bit of hay fever" I saved myself...I hope. "Ok if your sure" He headed inside and I followed falling back onto the sofa as he got his shoes on. "I will be gone 20 minutes ok? You sure you will be ok while I get booze?" I nodded again smiling at him settling myself into the sofa. I felt overcome with exhaustion suddenly and must of drifted off while he was out getting drinks for everyone.