Love In a Hoe's Paradise ( Urban Book. *EDITING/ON HOLD*)

The Diary of Sia # 1 The Boys

Corey, Kyle, Jason, Sean, and Eric its just to many. Corey I kind of but not really saw myself being his girl. But, I just cant be with a man who lies and cheats like that.  He has a family he should of told me that. Then he doesn't respect his girl who loves him so much. An Tionika is a very sweet girl, so if I tell her what we did it will really crush her. An I don't want to tear up an happy home, so I'm just going to leave him alone for good. But, I will still have to see him because of Sy. Kyle is the boy of my dreams out of all them boys that's who I really want. I know I have way to much sex I'm addicted I will admit, but I just cant really change for like that. I'm not loyal because of passed relationships and I'm scared to get hurt again. But, when I find that person I'm really interested in I will be faithful. He just go by what he hear about me. I just really want him to get to know me. I just want him to know I will make his life hell if he date another girl.

Jason is my bae he is just everything. He dresses nice, got his on car and house, then he got money that a plus. I just want us to communicate more. I still just want sex from him, but I just want a little more. He is good in my book. Eric was first mine I was talking to him first. I just let him go and let Gracey have him because she really cant get a man. Now she mad at me about something that's mine OH WOW. Me and Eric have a great relationship always have. He is just somebody that I don't want to let get away. I just feel that we could further this if she wasn't in the way of everything.

Sean, I can write a whole book about this boy. He means everything to me he was my first everything. Boyfriend, kiss, and sex was with him. He has my heart and I have his. Its like when I was with him nobody else mattered until he cheated. That's when I stated to be unloyal and  I started doing me. That's when all the boys started coming and all the fun in my life began. I was letting Sean hold me back from doing everything. I even went to jail over him and when I was in there no visits and no call. Its like let myself go for him and I want let it happen again. After that I still took him back, but their was no trust. I did me and he did him and that's how its was. I still love him, but I want put myself threw that any more.

Right now in my life I'm not very happy. An to make me feel better I recruit boys to make me feel good. Some do and some don't and that's were I make my mistakes at. That's how I get caught up and people feelings get hurt. I'm not a bad person if its my last I will give it to you. People just don't understand me at all. I'm labeled as a hoe I understand why it's okay as long as I know I'm not one. I just want to be love is that so hard and I look for it in  all the wrong places.