Mystic Messenger X Reader

JaeheeXReader Suicide

☆☆TRIGGER WARNING☆☆

Jaehee pov

She warned us. She said she was, no she wanted to die soon. She was invisible to most. She had no shoulder to cry on, no one to giggle and talk about there days with. No one thought about her. People were jerks to her. They didn't call her names, shoving her books down, or beat her up. What they did was ignore her. Yes, ignorance is bliss sometimes but not all your life, every day. I wish I could talk to her now. I was one of those jerks to her. I IGNORED HER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I didn't know about her mental illnesses, her cuts on her wrist, on her stomach, on her legs. Her living conditions at home were rough. Her dad, an alcoholic. Her mom, dead.
I wasn't close to her ever before. She moved to our school in 7th grade. Very few people came to her funeral. I only went for the extra credit the principle offered EVERYONE. Her suicide note was short and simple.

Dear everyone who did this,

You never saw my scares,
You never saw my depression,
You never cared about me,
Cared to get to know me,
You didn't even try to.

Sincerely, (Y/N)

She overdosed on anti-depressants, and other unprescribed meds. Her neighbor was knocking on the door and heard a cry and scream. Her neighbor opened up the bathroom door to see (Y/N)'s lifeless body on the cold blood-stained tiles. Blood dripping off of her arms and legs with nearly a hundred cuts from a razor blade on each arm and leg.
Four empty pill bottles laying empty on the ground. The neighbor is shocked and calls 911.
But it was too late (Y/N) already died before she even saw her.

Tragic yes.

(Y/N) Pov

I'm not very good at socializing. When I moved I promised myself I would make friends and be 'normal'.
That just never happened. My mom died when I was 10 and my dad became an alcoholic. He told me I was useless and it was my fault mom died.
I was shy and quiet, I behaved and did my work.
I had no friends. Well, I did have two. But they were on the internet.
I was a freshman and there was a pretty girl in the school. She was a sophomore, she had short brown hair, glasses, and a beautiful smile. She never talked to me or noticed I was there. We shared a couple of classes together.
Every time I passed her in the hallways my heart would race and I would get flustered.
I was falling in love with her.
But I couldn't fall in love with her. She was probably straight and thought I was ugly.
If I would lift up my sleeves or whore shorts they would see my scars.
I was afraid of that.
But maybe if they did see one of them would talk to me. They could help me! Or comfort me!

I was seeing a therapist. She was free and she would pick me up after school.
My dad thought it was soccer practice.
He said to me if I do sports he would be happy only if I got a scholarship. So I told him every Wednesdays are practice and Saturdays are games and one of the team mom's picked me up and dropped me off.
I was really quick with excuses.

She gave me some antidepressants.
They didn't work for shit! Anti-depressants would just make me feel sick.
Or would do nothing to me.
I was always just meh all day. Sometimes I would skip school just cuz I was too depressed to get out of bed.

I suffered through summer wearing long sleeves except when I'm at home. My dad could give two flips if I harmed my self or not.

But one day I felt like confidence stroke me.

I formed a crush on Jaehee. She probably never evens herds of me. Even though I'm in the grade under her.

I went to school that day with a smile on my face. My smile looked dumb as shit but I couldn't control myself.

Today I was going to talk to her.

I walked in the school usually she hangs out with a group of boys and another girl outside. I took a deep breath and made my way to their spot.

Oh crap, I'm probably blushing mad asf.
I nervously made my way towards Jaehee.
Today she was just hanging out with that other popular kid Zen. His amazing athletic and acting side of him rose to the top fast.

"A-ah J-jaehee I-"

"Who are you?" She snipped back (jaehee don't be so harsh;-;)

"I-i-"  I studdered more.

"Come on Jaehee the bell is going to ring soon."

"Alright."
I watched them walk off.
I'm not emotionally steady right now. I rarely am. I hold my tears.
No one cares about me. N-no one know I exist. They probably don't care that I exist.
This is like some another ( the anime) situation going on.
I run away from the school without thinking. My eyes are cloudy and I rub away the tears forming in them as I run into the parking lot.
The last thing I remember is hearing a loud honk from a car.
The car tried to swerve because it couldn't stop. Also, the driver was a student who panic.

I was rushed to the hospital. The doctors noticed I was suicidal and tried to sneak my help.
I told them everything once I regained conciseness.
But I still wasn't emotionally steady.
I realized I'm absolutely useless in this bloody world.
I went home to end it all.
Nothing will change. I won't have a funeral. Who would come?

Jaehee pov

I'm so so sorry (Y/N).
I wish I knew.

___________________________________

A/N

  
  Ye! I did a thing.

Also, I almost forgot to post this ha