Love.mp3: Track 2

Never Second

That night was the worst night ever.

The pain never stopped.

The image of Iza keeps flashing back. Her smile, the piano, everything.

And every time I think of her, Andrew keeps on coming back.

And the pain starts all over again.

Rock, for once in my life, wasn’t helping and instead was sh*tting me up.

Dinner was worse.

I can’t eat. Mom asks me what’s wrong.

The pain was still there.

“Kuya misses Ate Iza!” My little sister exclaimed.

And instead of getting mad, the pain increased…

I just lay in my bed waiting for sleep to kick in. Realizing that I can’t sleep, I retrieved Iza’s earphones, placed it in my ears without really plugging it into anything. I scanned the past messages I had with her, and after that looked at every pictures I had with her.

Why am I acting like heartbroken, I don’t know. I just feel it. And it’s ridiculous because I have Ria.

I should be happy, right?

So why do I feel that I got the sh*ttiest end of the deal?

“Luis?” A girl’s voice called.

I didn’t respond.

“Luis!” Another one, a boy (?) called.

I looked at them lazily.

“You haven’t touched your food yet.” Vanessa pointed out.

I shoved my spoon and dumped a small food in my mouth.

“You okay, Luis?” Napoleon asked.

I nodded absentmindedly.

It was lunchtime and I was with the dynamic duo. Iza didn’t come because she’s busy with Andrew.

The pain was still there ringing in my chest but now it has a roommate: Emptiness.

Vanessa sat beside me.

“Luis?” She asked.

“She likes him, you know?” I mumbled no one in particular.

Vanessa hesitated at first then rubbed my back soothingly.

“You still like her, huh?” She noted.

“Well, it just proves my point that she was never mine in the first place.” I sighed.

Vanessa hugged me unexpectedly.

“Don’t ever think about yourself that way.” Vanessa whispered.

Then she held me at arm’s length.

“You know I have this little crush on you at first…and I said to myself ‘wow, Iza’s one lucky girl.’” She said.

“Now you’re just making that up…” I mumbled.

She held my hand, then laughed.

“You’re right. I did made that up… but not about Iza being lucky to have you.” She said.

“Wait, what about Victoria?”

I sighed again.

Vanessa looked at me, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know.” I sighed.

Vanessa gave an encouraging smile.

“Hey, let things flow…and things are bound to work, right?” She said, smiling.

I nodded, trying to smile so as to let them know that their pep talk had helped me in some way.

“But, if you really love Iza…fight for her. Because, if you don’t, one day you’ll realize how much you really had lost.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

I’m with MC again giving me tips.

But this time we weren’t in the arcade nor alone. MC brought his girlfriend with us and we’re crashing at a fast food restaurant.

“Hayley.” She offered her hand.

“Luis.” I returned.

MC has taste, I grant you that.

What can I say? ...To match MC’s white wild hair, Hayley has this ember red hair that reaches to her waist. Well, other than that flaming hair, she’s just the same as any other girls.

“Well, looks to me, you still like Iza.” MC noted.

“Yeah, but she has Andrew.” I pointed out.

“Then fight for her!” MC exclaimed. “You’ve clearly got the upper hand, getting her from Andrew is way easier than you staying away from her.”

“How about Ria?” I asked.

“Excuse me,” Hayley asked. “But if you really like this, Iza…then why not break up with this, uh-Ria?”

I held my head down. “Uh-I can’t.”

Hayley stayed silent then mumbled something. “First time?”

I nodded.

I continued eating in silence.

Heck, it was MC’s treat. Blessings can’t be wasted, you know?

“Hey, you told me if I had a second love, I should choose my second love… Then why does it looks like I am choosing Iza?” I asked MC.

MC shrugged. Then grinned.

“Honestly, Luis, I don’t know. But one thing’s for sure. Love is the most complicated thing in the world. No one understands it, yet everyone feels it.”

“As for your question, I really don’t know. Maybe, you never loved Ria?...You see, Love as deceptive as it is in its nature, is what will lead us to the most of our decisions in life, and it’s up to us if we follow it or not.”

I grinned slowly.

“Does he always blurt out things like that?” I asked Hayley, laughing.

“Actually, he’s much worse when he’s writing.” She said, joining me.

We ended up laughing our ass*s off in there.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.

Maybe there was never a second from the start…