Starting Over

Is This What It Feels Like?

When I walked into homeroom the next morning, I felt a lot better.

"Good morning, Kristen. Good morning, Matt," I greeted with a smile.

"Good morning," they responded. Then Kristen continued, "I thought you were going to be mad at me for calling your mom yesterday."

"No, I really needed her. Thanks, actually."

Kristen just smiled.  There was light chatter in the room since there was still ten minutes before first period.  Then a hush went across the room.

I assumed it was Darrien, like it was yesterday, and didn't bother to turn around.  He didn't deserve my attention.  I kept talking until Kristen made a goofy smile and pointed behind me.

"Morning, Cass," Trevor greeted.  Oh right, him.  I still wasn't ready to face him yet and already planned on skipping history for the rest of the week - getting notes and assignments from Matt - but I guess you can't skip people the same way you can a class.

"Morning," I responded, not bothering to force a smile.  "You need something," I asked in a not-so-mean voice.

"No, I... um...," Trevor mumbled.  He was fiercely blushing, and as much as I wanted to smile at how adorably sexy he was when he blushed, I stopped myself.  "I knew this was your homeroom, because there are only, like, three for the entire senior class, so actually I guessed this was your homeroom and checked this one first and here you are. Do I sound like a creeper? I'm sorry," Trevor babbled.  It was getting harder not to smile at him.

"No, it's fine.  So you don't need anything," I asked again.

"Trevie has a crush on Cassie," someone across the room, I think William, shouted.

"Go on and kiss her, lover boy.  She's single now," another voice joined.

I glanced behind me at Kristen, who was laughing with Matt.  Then at Darrien, who was fuming he was so mad.  At that, I grabbed my things, then Trevor's wrist, and headed into the hallway.

"Why have you been avoiding me," he asked as soon as the door was shut.

"It's only been a day, Trevor," I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Exactly. Two days ago I was eating dinner with your mom and little sister, and now you won't even look me in the eye."

"It's not you, it's me," I mumbled, not looking him in the eye.

"Oh my effing God, you did not just say that," Trevor groaned, throwing his head back and pacing a few steps back and fourth.

"You're being dramatic." I folded my arms.

Trevor walked towards me, backing me against the wall, and put his hands on the wall beside my face, trapping me.  He was so close, I could nearly taste the strawberry Pop-Tart he had just eaten.  I stared in his eyes, and instead of seeing madness, I saw sadness, and hurt. "Tell me," he begged.

"I-" The first bell cut me off, and Trevor dropped his arms right before William came out of the room.  He stood there, waiting for me to continue, and when I didn't say anything he left.

"What was that about," Kristen asked when she made her way out of the room.

"Are you okay, Cassidy," Matt asked.  He put an arm across Kristen's shoulders and then my own.

"Yep, it's just...." I trailed of, not having a really reason why that just happened.  "I don't know."

"Well, cheer up, Cassidy," Kristen ordered.  "It's just the start of a new day."