विवाह- संधीर की कहानी

W

It had been two days when he asked me and with crimson red face I agreed. He was so happy that he planned it for yesterday evening. Somewhere I was also excited cause I thought I should also took steps like him for this relationship and made us worked like a happy couple. We are happy now but when I took steps he feel elated. But my false alarm ruined everything. He was disappointed but he didn't shown on his face. And I was frustrated with myself that I made him sad. This is the least thing these days for me but I did the same. He is doing everything from making me smile to making me comfortable to accept him and his touch but my false alarm had to ruined and it was successful. Note my sarcasm here. 

And the same thing is happening to me today too but I felt more of that. I felt more weakness and dizziness. Even I felt my tongue bitter. Like I don't have taste bud. Bile rose inside my mouth and I felt like puke. This is not the false alarm. This is actually going to happen. I rushed to bathroom and spit. I did my business and start looking pills in the cabinets. But they are not here. I raked my hands in hairs and rubbed the temple to remembered them. Clicked. I start hyperventilate. This is not I wanted how could I forget them. 

Cause u were not taking them from so long.

I put aside my thought and start pacing. What should I do now? I really need them. Again the bile rose and risen my mouth. There is knock on the door. 

Randhir: Sanyukta.. U in there ?

His calmed voice stopped me and I looked at the door. I tried to control my fast raging breathe. Again there is knock and I realized I didn't answered.

I: Yes.. I m coming. 

I saw my reflection and I was pale. There is no color on my face only tired and weakness were shown. I washed my face and stepped outside while praying inside my head. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with frown lines. I looked at him with tired smile. He walked up to me and stood in front of me.

Randhir: Is everything alright ?

He looked worried but I nodded with assured eyes but he didn't looked satisfied.

Randhir: U looked pale and weak too. 

I felt like my eyes drooping in drowsiness. His hand held mine and his eyes turned into surprised eyes.

Randhir: Ur hand is freezing...   

With panicking state he start checking my face and temple.

Randhir: U are cold. I think we should go the doctor. 

He pulled me but I stopped him on his spot.

I: I m fine. It's no need. We should get going else we will be late.

I spoke with tired voice. Whether I don't have the strength to go but I don't want he looked at me like this. When I m in so much of pain cause of my cramps and back pain. 

Randhir: Look at urself. U looked tired and weak and u r thinking about that we will be late. 

He freaked out and his voice raised at the end. I never heard his raised voice. He was all clam and patient person. But he is freaking out all cause of me. I heard his signs and stood in front of me. 

Randhir: I m not listening to u. We are going to the doctor.

He stress his each word with ordering tone. Again I felt my tongue bitter taste. I blinked my eyes cause of the dizziness. My back hurts in pain. Did this also have to come now? I cleared my throat.

I: I m fine. Trust me. We should get going. 

I knew he will not accepted it so I start dragging him to diner. We reached and seated on our respected chairs. But he still looked at me worried tense face. Mary brought our breakfast with smile. I looked at my plate and swallowed . I know eating is vain as soon I m going to throw that too.