I'm a Gay and I Love Her

TWO LESS LONELY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

CHAPTER 36

(Please play Two Less Lonely People by KZ Tandingan)

SHEIMAEKA

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Pagkatapos akong maghilamos para hindi halatang umiyak ako, lumabas na ako ng banyo. I barely remember the details from last night at masakit pa rin ang ulo ko. When I went out, Brian has already changed from his tux. Wearing a simple white v-neck shirt and pants, he honestly looks like a hot guy- which he is certainly not- I mean the guy part, not the hot.

"Let's get divorced." Panimula kong sabi. As much as I want to be with him, alam ko rin namang iba ang gusto niya. Hindi ako. Dahil hindi ako lalaki. And I made a promise years ago.

I'll never fall for a gay again.

"Let's not." Sagot naman niya. He smiled.

What?

"Ano? But this is a mistake! We don't even know if this is legit. I mean, it's LA. Maybe we really are married but just in some states in America. We should- we should just go back to-"

"To who we were before last night happened?" he seriously stated.

"Yes!" bakit ba hindi niya naiintindihan na ginagawa ko ang lahat ng 'to para sa kanya? "Don't you want to be far from me? I'm holding you back, Brian. Please, just let me go! And besides, Justin-"

"Tama na nga!" he stalked towards me with fury in his eyes. "For the first time in a long time, nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos dahil sa isang pagkakamaling nangyari kahapon." He held my hands and his eyes softened. "Please stop talking about Justin, Shei. Nasasaktan na ako. Matagal ko nang pinagsisihan ang ginawa ko noon. Pwede bang kahit ngayon lang, 'wag mo na akong ipagtabuyan?"

"But I'm not the one for you, Brian! Hindi mo ba naiintindihan?! Paano na ang career mo? Paano na ang sarili mong love life?!" I pushed him away.

He moved closer again and hugged me tight. I tried to fight his embrace pero mistulang may sariling utak ang katawan ko. "Please, just try to pretend na mahal mo pa rin ako. Kahit one week lang." he moved closer to my ear. Damang-dama ko ang init ng hininga niya.

"Kahit hanggang makauwi lang tayo, Shei. Napapagod na akong magkunwaring hindi na kita mahal. Na wala lang sa akin ang lahat ng pakikipagharutan mo kay Justin. Kahit ngayon lang... sana iparamdam mo sa akin na mahal mo pa rin ako kagaya ng pagmamahal ko sa 'yo." After he said that, I felt all the air leave my lungs.Then, something wet fell on my shoulders.

He's crying.

Sa tanang buhay ko, ngayon ko lang nakita si Brian na umiiyak. We stayed silent for a few minutes. My head is in turmoil right now. Bakit kung kailan natanggap ko na ang katotohanan, doon pa siya nagpasyang magparamdam ulit sa akin?

"Shei?" he asked softly. "Why did you kiss me four months ago?"

"What?" he still remembers that?

"I know you're not deaf." He removed his embrace and looked at me in the eyes. "Shei, why? I need to know. Please, tell me. Kailangan kong malaman ang dahilan." His eyes were pleading and begging me to tell him what he wants to hear. Something I'm not allowed to say.

I removed his hands from my arms although my hearts wants otherwise, "I thought you needed air."

He looked at me incredulously, "You're kidding."

"I'm not."

"At hindi ako bobo. Sabihin mo sa akin ang totoo." He held me again. I ignored the scalding feeling every time our skins touch.