Jiley-Our Realitionship Together-Continued

Memorial

Rileys POV:
I walk into the sitting room and see James sitting there. I sit next to him. Neither of us say anything.
Its been a day since the funeral and the atmosphere is really dull. No surprise.
'I could have prevented this' he says.
'What?'
'I could have prevented her from dying. If she told us then I could have helped her. Found some hospital that could help her. Instead she didnt tell and now shes dead! Why didnt she tell me!'
'Its okay. Calm down'
'No! I could have helped her! She knows I would have!' he says standing up and pacing around the room.
'Why! Did she not think I was able! That I was too caught up in my own life to care about her! Of course I care about her! And I would have done everything possible to get her better! Why didnt she tell me!' he says rage flooding through him.
Hes so messed up over this. He doesnt know what to feel.
'James dont do this to yourself!'
'Do what! Blame myself for her death! Cause thats excatly what Im doing! I should have seen she wasnt well! She showed all the signs of it!'
He throws things around the room. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me back. Its Alfie.
'Just give him a minute' he says.
I watch him as he throws magazeens, books and toys around the room.
'WHY!'
I turn to Alfie.
'Its okay. You can go'
'Are you sure?'
I nod as he walks off. I look back at James.
'ITS NOT FAIR! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!'
He smashes his fist against the wall and breaths heavily. I slowly walk back into the now trashed room.
'James?'
He turns to me and looks at me anger still fumming. He looks at me for a minute then looks around the room.
He lunges foward and I suddenly feel his arms tight around me.
'God Im sorry. Im so so sorry' he cries.
I wrap my arms around him.
'Its okay' 

He looks at me.

'Did I scare you?'

I put my head down.
He gently lifts it up.
'Did I?'
I slowly nod.
'Just a little'
'Riley Im so sorry. I dont know what came over me. Are you okay? I didnt hurt you did I?'
I smile softly placing a hand on his cheek.
'Im just fine. Really. Besides, Alfie pulled me out of the room so...'
He smiles weakly.
'Im really sorry'
'You dont need to appologise. I get it. Loosing a parent is tough. Ive been there before'
'I dont know what I did to deserve you. But Im not complaining' he says as he leans in and slowly kisses me.
We pull away.
'Um...I was thinking...maby we could all get together and have our own little memorial service here in the house for her. You know, everyone can say something that they liked most about her or something that she was best at. And maby it will help us let her go and know that shes in a better place now. And that shes watching all of us peacefully and pain free. And maby at the end everyone can decorate a paper lantern and we'll go to her grave, put a candle in them and let them go in memory of her.What do you think?' I ask.
He nods.
'I think thats the perfect way to say goodbye to her'
I nod.
He looks around.
'I should clean this up'
'You dont need to'
'Yes I do. I helps if Im doing something'
I nod as he cleans up.
I really hope this memorial will help.
Cause its the only idea I have left.