Scared

Chapter 10: Let's put an end to this

I see my softball bat in the corner and quickly grab it. I don't know what I'm gonna do once he comes. I'm panting, watching Viktor from underneath the bed. I hear the back door downstairs creek. I don't hear any footsteps, but I feel the subtle vibrations as he thumps his feet. A thousand thoughts are rushing through my mind. He could kill me. He could kill Viktor.

I feel my stomach hollow out, and it feels like my heart is in my throat, ready to shoot out. I'm quivering, shaking, out of breath. The vibrations slowly get more and more intense. He's coming up the stairs. My entire house is dark at this point, and there's at least half an hour till my parents return.

Tears start running down my face out of fear. I don't want to cry––it's distorting my vision. I want to stop but I can't. I feel him right outside the room: I feel him standing just a few feet away from me. The door knob turns. He's coming in.

My knees are weak. I'm right behind the door as it slowly opens. The tears are still flowing and I've pursed my lips to keep myself from making any noise. He walks in without turning back. He goes in straight.

I take a step forward and swing my bat as hard as I possibly can at his head. "AAAHH!!!" he yells in a deep, deadly voice. He almost falls, but doesn't. I can feel how angry he is, in my bones. He turns back looking like the most dangerous and angry man I've ever seen. I'm frozen; in shock. I'm thinking of what to do, but I'm too late. He's yelling and grunting and coming right at me. It's so dark that neither of us know what we're doing. He grabs my neck in both hands and begins squeezing it. His thick palms are closing up my wind pipe. I'm struggling to breathe as his grip tightens around my neck. This is more painful than you think. My arms are frantically hitting him on the head, when I suddenly jab one end of the bat into his eye. He lets go of me, moving a couple feet away from me, grunting and screaming, holding his face on his eye. Without thinking, Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! I hit him with the bat as hard as I can, as many times as I can--in desperation, and in fear for my life and Viktor's--sobbing, and screaming. At this point I hear Viktor crying as well. The man has no chance to recover, and my numerous jabs make him pass out. He's on the ground but I'm still hitting him. I'm out of my mind. I've never seen this much violence come out of me. After a good minute I realize that he's passed out, maybe even dead. There's a small pool of blood forming around his head. Dear God, what have I done.

***

I'm standing next to his body, completely frozen. I'm not crying any more. I don't feel any emotion. Viktor slowly comes out from underneath the bed. The streaks of tears on his face shine, reflecting the light of the street lamp coming from out the window. He's terrified. I start hearing noises from outside. Aleksandr is now running up the stairs calling our names. He's turned the lights on. I hear Sofia coming and yelling our names too. He comes into the bedroom and sees what happened. He turns the light on and quickly leaps at Viktor, grabbing him in his arms. His face is bruised and his nose and lip are bleeding. Soon Sofia comes in as well. She looks frightened and is out of breath. The left side of her face is swollen and bruised. "Janani!" she leaps at me and grabs me by my arms. I'm utterly weak, my mind is blank. She's saying something to me, but I'm not listening. Just staring. Her face is getting blurry, the room seems to be tilting. I'm getting dizzy, and before I know it, I fall to the ground.

***

I'm waking up and my head has a terrible, throbbing pain. I look around and I'm in my bed. My mom and Aleksandr are sitting beside the bed. As I open my eyes I begin saying "M..Mom-" "Janani!" my mom says in whispery voice. She comes closer and slowly pats my head. Aleksandr is looking at me with a content face.

In a few minutes, I'm getting up on my elbows and I see blue and red lights outside my window. Cops. "What happened mom? Viktor? What's happening?" I ask in a soft, strained voice. My neck and throat are in so much pain. "Sshh... Everything's fine. Just take rest for a few minutes. We'll tell you all of it in some time." I sit up straight in my bed and rub my eyes. I can't believe any of this happened.

I get out to go to the bathroom. In the mirror I see that my eyes are red and swollen from crying. There are bruise marks all around my neck. My arms and shoulders are sore from all the swinging and hitting. My knees still feel weak. 

I come outside and sit on my bed. Mom and Aleksandr are still there. "Can you tell me now" I ask in a low, rough voice. My mom sighs. "That man is dead" she says and takes a pause. I'm stunned. "D..did I-" I ask in a low whisper, tearing up, feeling heavy sense of guilt. I'm a murderer? My mom glanced at Aleksandr and then looked back at me. "He died of a fractured skull and excessive bleeding" she said with a straight face, holding my hand. I take a deep breath, and tears are falling down my face. My expression doesn't change, but I realize the weight of this new title I have: I'm a Murderer. I slowly move back in my bed and rest on the wall that's adjacent. "It's okay Janani. You did the right thing," my mom begins saying. I can't bear to look at either of them, so I stare at the ceiling. "Janani, you saved our little boy," says Aleksandr. "Am..Am I going to jail?" I ask in a low strained voice. "According to Sofia and Aleksandr," my mom presses my hand firmly "who were witnesses, you acted out of self defense. So you will not be going to prison. Not now, not ever." She gives me an understanding look, full of warmth. "Thh-That's...a lie-" I stutter in a soft voice, "they weren't there." "We have to do this much for you, it's our duty" says Aleksandr. I let out a deep breath. "Did you know who he was mom?" I ask in a strained voice. "Yes. Sofia and Aleksandr told me and your dad everything. Sofia and Dad are just outside, dealing with the cops. Viktor and Brody are safe." "You're a brave girl Janani," says Aleksandr.