The Girl They Never Noticed

Chapter 49

Jaycee's POV:

"Goodbye Jaycee Royce."

Her sad and broken voice made my heart hurt so much it got hard to breathe.

I wanted to choose her.

I still do.

I always will.

It's just that I can't keep lifting my hopes up so high only for her to smash them in the end. I'm can't keep living in a fantasy I made up in my head only to wake up to a dark and lonely reality. I've done so much and it's about time I start living again; this time for me. She will always have my heart, that's the sad truth, but I'm not going to keep feeding my apparently one sided affection.

Ever since I met her, all I could think about was how we were going to grow old together. How we would have four beautiful children who all looked and sounded and acted like her. All I thought about for the past four years was how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

I raised my expectations so high up the roof, even bought a diamond ring, and now I've officially hit rock bottom. I should've never let her consume me like that. I should've never let myself get close to her. I should've never even imagined a future with her. I shouldn't have, but I did and now i have to own up to it. Now I have to live with the consequences of my choices and daydreams. Nonetheless, no matter what I have to, I will forget and I will move on.

I am done.

Finally.

I inhaled deeply, and exhaled all the feelings and emotions that normal Jaycee feels. With the new breath, I inhaled Royce's gang leader status.

I am their leader.

They look up to me and I will never let anything - not even love - get in the way of that. I can't have them leaving this gang, or worse; turning against me.

I took one last puff, stepped on it and I was about to leave the terrace when Ashton came through the door.

"Mind if I join?" He asked as he came towards the balcony.

"Nah. Join away." I replied as I looked at the lake. "What's up?" I asked, sensing something was wrong due to the worried expression on his face.

"I would be asking you the same question if I didn't already know. Jaycee I already told you before that whatever you got going on would most definitely end in heartbreak. How much more are you willing to lose in the name of love?" He said, only looking at me as he spoke the last sentence.

"I know you said that Ash, but put yourself in my position; what would you have done?" I asked, my face on my hands.

"Me?..." he trailed, staring into oblivion. "Well, you know the story." He finally answered.

One thing about Ashton is that he never really lets his emotions and feelings show. He finds a way to hide them and bury them 500 ft below his quirkiness. Always covering them up with his non-existent and lame sense of humour. I really don't know who lied to him and told him he's funny.

Actually, one name does come to mind.

A name I don't think he'll want to remember; at least not for a very, very long time. Well in the least without finding the need to break down and shut off from everyone.

"I actually don't. You never really told me exactly where you were that day , or even what happened to said meant party. You kind of just came over to my place at five in the damn morning and slept on my couch for more than two weeks without as much as 'screw you'. You ate like seventeen boxes of pizza alone, kept ordering orange chicken for days and I'm sure finished the national reserve of french fries and ginger al...."