Letters to J

August 21,2017

August 21, 2017.
To,
Dearest "J",
They are calling it the miracle. What, you may ask is this incredible, fateful miracle. Well to be sure the doctor's announced today that you are finally showing signs of recovery and may wake from this slumber as early as tomorrow or the day after.

I feel like I succeeded. Succeeded in bringing you back to life, even if you won't be a part of mine, anymore. The doctors are hopeful, your mom breathed the first breath of relief since you came here and your dad, he cried. First time I've seen a full grown man cry. I, on the other hand was numb. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder but there was still a dull ache in my chest which stopped me from even mustering a fake smile for your mother's sake. Sinners and the guilty, don't smile when they meet the judge. And I am guilty.
Your mom says I saved you, my blood that is. You are probably wondering what I am talking about. Well, it was the night I got interrupted while writing another meaningless apology for you in the form of a letter. Your "precious girlfriend" came to see you for a second time that night. But what happened and why she came is a story for later. The story I'm sure you are dyin------------, sorry, desperate to hear is, why my blood courses through your veins.

You died. Almost. Your body raptured and all your wounds were re-opened. Flooding your body with streaming gushes of your fresh blood. I don't know why. They used a very difficult medical term to explain your condition that I didn't really bother to remember for I was in shock. You were losing too much blood and they had tried to call your parents but they weren't picking up their phones. As a last resort they came to me, so that I may inform them of your condition. The doctors were worried for your survival and I as usual was writing you a meaningless letter, in which I was ranting about your "girlfriend". When the doctors informed me that they didn't have enough blood to spare you three bottles, I felt like I could set the goddamn place on fire. Why couldn't they spare you three bottles? Well! Apparently when you were admitted, you were given six bottles of blood for three days, as your wounds kept re-opening and you bled profusely. And your parents hadn't given them any replacements.

When I heard that I had to call in your parents to ask them to arrange blood for you, I felt so small. You know, like a child, who dawdles in big crowds, trying to find his mother so she can buy him the candy that he likes so much. But he never gets it because he gets lost and by the time his mother finds him, all the candy is finished. I felt like that child. I knew reaching your parents or going to your place would take too much time. And time was what you didn't have.

So I asked your doctor what your blood type was. It was a very slim chance but I was willing to take it. The amusing thing is we shared so many things yet I didn't know what your blood type was, maybe, because we never anticipated this. Life can be so unpredictable at times. It can knock you off of your feet, if you try to keep up with it.

Turns out you had O- blood type, which would've been unfortunate as it is extremely rare but lucky for you, I was also a recipient of the same type. And so without further ado, Amy took a leap. I did another thing I hadn't done before. I donated blood. I wish I could say it was a painful or nauseating experience or even a spiritual awakening process but the truth is all throughout it I was completely numb. I didn't feel the prick of of the needle nor the blood as it gushed out in red streams and into the bag, filling it up.

It was after an hour that I realized you had managed to take another part of me from me. First it was my trust, then my heart, then my life and now my being, my blood. We were entwined in the most poisonous of ravines and no matter how much we tried to cut them, they would only grow back.

Then your girlfriend came in the picture and further distorted reality for me. She abhorred my existence and detested that I still stuck around and got into a debate with me over who loved you the most. I wouldn't say I loved you the most but I did love you the best I could, whether you saw it or not. She also proceeded to casually sneak around your adventures with her in bed, in our conversation. Apparently this is the closest one can be with another person. But we know better, don't we, J? My love, my blood-bond mate.
Yours indefinitely,
Amy.
P.S: Thank God you are alive!