(A buzzing sound emits from MY front pocket. Taking out MY phone and reading the ID, I groan, glancing at the countries in the room: ENGLAND, JAPAN, PRUSSIA and DENMARK)
ME: Crap. Guys, shut up, it's my mom. (answers phone and holds it to MY ear) Hey, Mom.
Meanwhile, as she's on the phone...
ENGLAND: (completely stoned, lounging on the sofa, slurring) Make me a sammich, bitch, aND PASS DA WEED.
JAPAN: (crosses arms, shakes head) Come on, Hudz. (starts guiding her out of the room)
PRUSSIA: (from the floor) He vantz zhe v, he vantz zhe v~
DENMARK: (also high, trying to imitate JAPAN) AnD PASS DA WEED.
Mom (from the phone): HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Why didn't you tell me you guys smoked weed?! We could have done it like back in the good ol' days! And God, Japan you shouldn't want that, you don't know where that's been!!! (laughs) Lol just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. Love you, Ness. Dinner's at 7:00, okay? (hangs up)
(EVERYONE, except for ME and JAPAN, laughs out loud)
ME: (sighs) Love you too, Mommy.
(#true story)
