Full Speed Ahead (AQMA Sequel)

58 - Who Knew

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Here I was, laying on top of my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Both Alena and Isaac were downstairs watching a movie but I just needed some time to myself, away from the constant questions like "Are you okay?" "Wanna talk about it?" I know they all mean well, but getting asked the same question by so many people was slowly getting to me.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks to be honest. I think I have gone through more trauma this year than any average teenager should ever have to go through. Just last week I found out about this secret account my mum has for us, the life insurance funds and her letter which sat on my bed side table in a frame. I had to frame it, these were my mums last words, I couldn't bare to see it get thrown out. I had always admired my mums handwriting, it was beautiful and delicate. Just like her.

I was in a weird state of mind at the moment. I had all this money in the account for us and I've been scared to look at it, let alone use it. I felt guilty about having it in my account. I tried to give some to Drew but he flat out refused to take any of it, insisting that I leave it for Alena and I. My dad refused to let me pay him back for paying for our education. I understand they both are looking out for us, but this only made me feel more guilty but it also made me want to be more responsible with the money. I wanted to make my mum and dad proud, I didn't want to just waste it on meaningless things. I plan on using this money to help build our futures. I can now make sure that Alena can go to high school and eventually University. I now didn't have that burden on my shoulders anymore.

Speaking of school, they thankfully gave me an extension for my final exams which I completed last week after the reading. I wanted more time but that was all they could give me. Normally I would be able to know how I did but I was completely unsure. I had no idea if I did well on these exams or not. If I didn't then I could kiss University of Melbourne goodbye, there was no chance of getting in with a shit enter score. I think what pains me the most is the waiting, just tell me if I did good or not, don't make me wait for weeks which really feels like years to me. I let out a sigh as I positioned myself up right to look around my room.

I looked around my room until my eyes fell on Noah's photo that was on my vanity table. It was the service booklet from his funeral and I couldn't find it in my heart to throw it out, so I left it on my vanity.

F  L  A  S  H  B  A  C  K

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of a son, a friend and a nephew. Noah was a bright young man with a great future ahead of him, taken away from his family too early. The Daniels family would like to thank each and every one of you for coming out today to share this special day. Mr Daniels, Noah's father would now like to come up and say a few words."

I took in a deep breath as I sat there, in the far back corner waiting for his father to go up onto the small stage. My eyes wandered around the room until they fell onto Lenny and Crystal who were sitting next to each other. It's like he could feel my eyes on him as he turned his head to look directly at me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before I broke away from the contact and looked straight ahead.

"It's okay." Isaac whispered into my ear as he grabbed a hold of my hand, squeezing it for reassurance.

I was glad Isaac came with me today, at first everyone thought I was crazy coming but Isaac understood. Despite what Noah did, he was my first love. He will always have a spot in my heart, no matter how cruel he turned out to be. I swallowed the lump that sat in my throat as I watched his dad's hands shake as he looked down at his paper.

"We stand before you today to do the unthinkable, to say farewell to our beloved son, Noah. This is one of the hardest things a parent has to face, never in your wildest dreams would you ever want your children to pass before you. Noah was extremely passionate about the things he loved, sometimes going a little too far.