This Crazy Life

Chapter 23

Gracie's POV:

I break away from Shawn and silently clamp a hand over my mouth. I just kissed Shawn. I just freaking kissed Shawn. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm in love with Taylor... right? He was just so close to me and his warm brown eyes make me feel so safe. He's never talked to me directly before. I didn't even know I had feelings for him until I was half an inch away from his perfect face. I feel drawn to him in a weird yet wonderful way. I feel like I know him.

But I love Taylor, I have to love Taylor I told him I did! I slept with him! This is just perfect, as if I needed another complication added to my list. 

I look around the car, everyone is either on their phone or chatting with eachother. Taylor is sleeping in the passengers seat, thank the Lord he didn't see that. Shawn is facing away from me, looking out the window. Now he hates me too, this is just great.

Neither I nor Shawn says another word the whole way back. We arrive at the hotel and start walking up to Shawn's room, mine too I guess. What am I going to do? I'll tell them everything about Luke and my history with him, although the Jacks already know, and Taylor probably told some other people too. I'll tell them what Luke, Ben, and Blake wanted, I'll answer their questions. I just can't let them find out about the diagnosis. 

An arm slides around my waist, Taylor. "Hey beautiful," he says and kisses me on the cheek. The guilt is eating me alive. "Taylor, I think we should ta-" I'm so close to just getting this off my chest when Shawn interupts everyone. 

"Everyone in the room! Sit in a circle!" Taylor and I sigh at the same time. "Tell me later, K babe?" 

I nod and we sit down next to eachother. Nash is on my right and Mahogany is across from me. The last time everyone was hanging out together was my first night here, it already feels like a lifetime ago. 

"Ok, so Gracie is just going to tell us everything. No interupting, no laughing, no nothing. You can all ask questions at the end." Nash says, giving Shawn a break from the leading. 

I stand up, take a deep breath, and tell everyone everything. I tell them all about Luke, my scars, the party that night. I tell them what happened to Emmie and what the guys wanted from me. There's just one more thing that they should know, Taylor is not going to like this. 

"When I was at the party, I met this guy. We were both super drunk I don't even know what his name was. I hardly remember anything about him. I don't know what happened between us that night. That's why I was so distracted and why I couldn't help Emmie. He was like a drug, he had me completely hooked on his drunken love." 

I bite my lip and sit back down, avoiding Taylor's eyes. Most of the people in the room look shocked, spare the ones who already knew. It's dead silent. 

Cam finally stands up. "Gracie, that was a really brave thing for you to tell everyone. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm so sorry those idiots even got far enough to hurt you. I'm so sorry about your friend, about everything. I love you, we all love you. Nothing like that is ever going to happen again, we'll have your back next time." Everyone nods. 

Thank God, they understand. They're not mad. It's going to be okay. Well for them at least. Everyone leaves the room to get some sleep, they all hug me on the way out. Taylor, and I are the only ones left in this room. Shawn, Jacob, and Mahogany are all out "getting water" in the hall. He walks over and hugs me. 

"Gracie, I don't care about some random guy before we met. I love you, and I just want to keep you safe. I'm not mad, it's not like you cheated on me or anything." Ouch. Punch right in the gut. 

"I love you too, Taylor." I pull away. "I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow morning okay?" He nods and walks out the door. I crawl into bed, pretending to be asleep when Mahogany, Shawn, and Jacob come back in. Life sucks.