Kinda-Comedian.

Well Today Happened.

                                                           *********DISCLAIMER************

        I swear to God I try to be as nice and unoffensive as possible, but I severely lack a social filter, so I pretty much say what I'm thinking. Some sort of Tourettes, I bet. But, if anyone who reads any of my entries is personally effected by anything I talk about, please try not to be offended. I would never try to make someone feel bad, I'm just trying to release the thoughts I am constantly holding in. So, no offense, but I hope no one is so desperately needing some humor that they feel that anything I write here is inappropriate and offensive. So, enjoy, and keep in mind I just have a twisted sense of humor :)

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Today started out pretty well, my good friend came back to school for the first time today since her hospitalization 15 days ago. My throat was a bit sore and I had a cough, but hell, pop a Ricola and call it a night. So here's kinda how my day went.

1st hour, Health: I honestly have no clue what we do in health class. We pretty just much just read about drugs, which was fine at first, but is pretty boring now. I got a test back, 100%. Yay. My teacher in that class (who's pretty chubby and wears Under Armor shirts that show his nips, so really all I can focus on in that class in this large guy's nips) said, "Everyone did really well on the test, except for one student." And this kid, who we"ll call "Cleavis" said, "Must not of been me, I got 6 out of 30 questions right. Best grade of the year in this class! Wonder what idiot failed the test." I really wish he was joking, but no, Cleavis is such an moron, this is 100% true and he was completely serious. He's got mental problems, I'm almost sure of it, but he doesn't take any special classes, so he must not have any learning disabilities, he's just really weird and not smart. I'm trying to be nice here. I'm not doing so good am I?

2nd hour, Language Arts: We're reading a pretty depressing book in that class called "Speak" which is about the struggles this girl has after she's raped. Super fun class, as you can tell. We're supposed to find unfamiliar words in the book and define them (at least 20 words) and I can't find any words I don't know in the book. It's a pretty easy read actually. So I'm going to procrastinate (as per usual) until the last minute, and at that time I will randomly write down words like "bubbly" or "shluck" and be like "yeah Mrs. Teacher, all these words were *definitely* in the book."

3rd hour, Science: Ah the joy of science. I actually kinda like the subject, but I CANNOT STAND the science teacher. We'll call him Mr. Ass-hat. Mr. Ass-hat has a problem with me, probably because I'm a strong , confident woman who will stand up to his bullshit. Also, he's pretty short and my mom's pretty tall, and one time he really pissed her off and she scared him somehow. Knowing my mother, that doesn't seem like a huge stretch. But we're talking about evolution in that class and this one SUPER religious guy is refusing to do like any homework or notes or anything. I'm pretty sure he hasn't been to church since his baptism. He just doesn't want to do the work. Damn. Why didn't I think of that? Any ways, it doesn't matter because Mr. Ass-hat is an athiest who rejects the beliefs of others and is just giving him loads of zeros and E's. Religious kid said Mr. Ass-hat will be having a discussion with his dad, who is apprently a conservative Republican Christian who has a problem with people who are not like-minded, and if they don't love Jesus they're Nazi-Comunist-Satan-Bastards. So that'll be intresting. We also had to study these dead baby chickens, which combined 3 things that freak/gross me out beyond belief: dead things, birds, and babies. I had a mini meltdown when people kept trying to touch me with it. Ewwie.

4th hour, Math: Here's y problem with math. I HATE math, I suck at math, I just want to zone out in that class, but I have the sweetest, nicest teacher EVER in that class (who, for the record, should've been a kindergarten teacher) and it doesn't help that she's like 7 months pregnant. So I feel like I have to put in effort in that class, or she'll be so dissapointed in me that her water will break or something. That's a real thing right? I don't know, but I can't imagine she'd want to give birth while teaching the pythagorean theorem.

*LUNCH*

5th hour, German: I tell you, that is the craziest class I've ever been too. We scream in German and watch sit-coms and it's great. Today we read Rumplestizchen in German, in which the little man gets so angry he rips himself in half. Ragin'

6th hour, Careers: The biggest blow-off class in the history of ever. We literally do NOTHING in that class except go online, which is mostly free terain, although today we had guest speaker, who was a lawyer. She wore a pink suit that reminded me a bit of Effie Trinket from "The Hunger Games" but she also was a prominent civil attorney who owns her own law firm, so I mean, girl power to her.

7th hour, History: We're doing this whole civil war reanactment, and OF COURSE the most liberal person in the class (spoiler alert: it's me) was put on the Confederacy's side. Woopee. We had a "battle" today, that was pretty much an oral pop quiz. We were supposed to read a section in our textbooks last night (the topic of the battle) which NO ONE in the entire Confederacy read. Needless to say, the Union won the battle, 50 points to -90. As punishment for 3/4 of the class not doing our homework, we were assaigned this huge mapping thing that was way too easy to be an actual punishment. I suspect more wrath to come.

At home: I did the homework for history really quickly because it was THAT EASY. I looked over my science final study guide, found out my inspiration, the lovely miss Maya Angelou passed away at 86 years old :'(   and then spent some time watching Dr. Phil with my guinea pig, Seymore. I wanted to name him Fabryze, but my sister had other plans. I worked a little on my zombie story, that is on Wattpad, "The Dead Beside Me." (Shameless promo! Go check it out, it's pretty fabulous!) Then I worked a bit on this story, got my sister ready for her last baseball game of the season, got into an argument with my mom over which cooler to take to the game for snacks, ranted about this problem, and then cleaned the house to ease the tensions between me and my mom. She brought me back a carmal frappe. Yay. I then ate bacon for dinner and I'm now watching a very depressing show on TLC called "My 40 -Year Old Child." My plans for the night include continuing my zombie story and watching some old "30 Rock" episodes. Updates wil comence tomorrow! Have a good night my lovers :)