Kinda-Comedian.

Grandmother Match-Maker.

Here's how today went.

1st hour Health: We talked about different ways to die which was super fun, and then Mr. Nips started going on and on about a trip to Vegas he took a few years ago with the 9th grade algebra teacher, which was a bit disturbing. We then talked about life goals and such and I felt a bit weird being the only person in the class who didn't want kids, but what the hell, more money for me peasents.

2nd hour Language Arts: We read "Speak" again, but I read way ahead last night so I was pretty bored all hour because they were just reading what I had already read.

3rd hour Science: There was a bee in the class room and Mr. Ass-hat chased after it with a ruler, until it landed on a computer and this obviously moronic guy took a textbook and smacked the computer with it. He killed the bee, but almost broke the computer in the process. We had an in depth discussion about the longevity of turtles, this kinda idiotic girl in my class talked about how her pet turtle "Turdy" ran away. Excuse me, but how the hell does a turtle run away? The run like 0.25 miles per hour, right? Then someone asked Mr. Ass-hat what the weirdest moment of his teaching career was, and he stared of into space, looking like he was flashingback to a very traumtic moment. He told us that a student at his old school got arrested during class for driving another student into the middle of no where during winter and making him take off all his clothes and leaving him there. Mr. Ass-hat has seen some shit, hahaha.

4th hour Math: Again, SO CONFUSED!!! If anyone out there has super math skills, let me know, because I suck! I kinda just zoned out today because I didn't want to do this impossible math, which is probably why I don't get it. I have no idea how I'm managing to get a B+ in that class... it's a literal miracle. We got a bit of free time towards the end of class, and I just talked to a bunch of people who were doing homework because they seemed like they needed a little humor in their lives.

*LUNCH*

5th hour German: We watched our great German sitcom, "Terbaum Berlin" I think it's called, and oh my God, that show is SO FUNNY! Everyone is almost pissing themselves during class just because all the characters are such creepers and one guy looks like Gollum from "Lord of the Rings." It's great.

6th hour Careers: We had to watch a bunch of powerpoints with old school pictures of us with sentimental music playing in the background for graduation. Jackie, another good friend of mine who we'll call "Beth" (she reads these posts and hopefully she'll catch the referance I made that none of you understand MWAHAHA!) read posts on Buzzfeed and laughed our asses off while other students were tearing up at the sentimentality in the room. We're terrible people.

7th hour History: We got popcicles for winning some fundraiser thing, and they were those popcicles that look like penises so it looked everyone in the class was giving blowjobs. Naturally, everyone made the popcicle eating more sexual than it should've been. I got a great joke on my popcicle stick, "What has 100 ears but can't hear? A field of corn." I was so impressed. Then we did a couple really easy worksheets and had loads of extra time so some people and I were talking about this show on TLC were this woman has size QQQ boobies, and this really shy nerdy guy in the corner overheard something about boobs and looked at us like we were crazy. I said "We're talking about boobs." and his face turned bright red and he turned away with an awkward smile. That's all it takes to make nerdy guys uncomfortable folks, say boobs.

At home: My sister had a "special friends luncheon" today so my grandparents came to visit from across the state. My grandpa picked me up from school and we got ice cream before going home. My grandma is a clean freak and cleaned and reorganized my entire house. It's none her bidniz. She also brought hamburgers for dinner, although my mom is a vegetarian and I can't really have red meat because it causes extreme iron spikes and it ain't good for me. So I wrote a bit of "The Dead Beside Me" and then my grandma decided to ask me if a friend of hers could come to my graduation. So I was like "who's the friend" and she said "his name's Mason, he's a little younger than you, only about 2 months though, really smart and funny and handsome. I think you two would hit it off." Then I realized, she wasn't trying to show me off to her friends, she's trying to set me up! That woman is nuts! She thinks I'm a lesbian because I don't want a boyfriend right now (my life is too full for that silliness). I'm not a lesbian, athough there's nothing wrong with lesbians, they cool, but my God woman, I'm a teenager! I wold be way too distracted if I had a boyfriend.I told her I didn't want a boyfriend and she said "well he can come as a friend then" and I said "mmhm, my dad's gonna be there and I don't think he'd be super happy if I was hanging out with this boy. He's gonna be a loner most of the night if you bring him." and she said "He's sociable, he'll make friends." So I guess this random stranger will be there. Now I'm watching Lilo and Stitch with my sister and it makes me want to cry. All Disney movies make me cry. I told my grandpa just now that I write stuff on the internet and he wants me to write a sory called "Ricardo the Beautician" about a fabulous flamboyant beautician named Ricardo. I kinda want to write it haha. Well, 1 week until TFiOS movie comes out (EEEEK!) and 8 days until my last day of school. Almost there! Adios beechatchos.