Whispers Of The Past

The text that kicked my ass

I don't know how, but I seemed to have misplaced my phone. Last I saw it was two nights ago, and I remember hearing it's buzz as I fell asleep. I just don't know what happened to it. I tried having family call it so i could follow the sound of the ringtone but it didn't make a sound anywhere in the house.

I have to find it. What if Mary tried to reach me. I looked in every creavice of my house untill I found it in the night stand next to my bed. I feel stupid but I get over it and pull out my pocket battery which I plug my phone into to get a charge. once it got charged enough I turn it on. Imediately I check my text messages and find that I got a message frrom an unkown caller. As I open the text screen my heart stops.

It's a single stentence. "I got a restraining order so don't ever come near me again!" I can just hear her voice say it in my head. I didn't respond but I know it's Eve. She plays the part of victum very well. There is a few tells that spring to mind that people need to realize that it's all lies. For example if I had done what she says I did, why is it she waited a whole week before she broke up with me after the day she says I forced myself on her. I know I have no evidence that backs me up, but how is it she has no proof that supports her claim. I get paranoid from thinking about this shit.

I sudenly just feel like my world is about to crash down on top of me. It's like it's happening all over again. What if Mary hears about this. I can't take the risk of her hearing what happened from someone else. I just have to man up and tell her my side. I'd rather take the risk she won't believe me than lie to her hiding the claims made against me.

I message Mary and we figure out a time to talk. I have to do this in person and face my fear that she will hate me if she knows. If I don't make a foundation of trust for our relationship then it wouldn't even be a real relationship. Moments like these can make or brake a man. I won't let myself fall short of the man I want to become. I have to be a man worth the trust of others.

Nothing worth anything is without its challenges. I know I'm not perfect, but I have to have faith that I can be a force for good. I can't say I'm there yet, but I know the choices I make now can help me get there. If I let the things that fear me stop me then I'll never move even a step forward.

The entire day I just layed in bed thinking, and to be honest stressing over all this drama. I just hope Mary can see past the struggles I faced before I met her...