Now

Chapter Eleven

         25 more days to go.

            The past week went by without any complications. No obnoxious comments from Jessica, and no sarcastic comments from Asher. Each day for Bible study Asher would sit in the same seat beside Adeline without peeping a word. Each day the music was great and seemed to get better as the days grew on. Adeline was still counting down the days until she could go home even though it wasn't any better than being here.

             As Adeline walked into bible study she dramatically yawned and sat in her "assigned" seat in the back. Everyone was still trickling into the room and taking their seats. Not many people talked since it was so early in the morning. Adeline looked down at her oversized hoodie and track shorts and sighed. She looked like a crack head. She didn't even take the time to brush her hair this morning, but she didn't care what these people thought. She wasn't the only person though, half the room were still in their pajamas.

            After five minutes passed, the room was full and bible study was set to start. Asher was ten minutes late like he was every morning, and he took his seat without a word. Dan started the sermon immediately. He liked to start early so we could all leave and go eat lunch. Adeline knew why she liked him so much. She HATED when her stomach growled in quiet rooms of people.

"Alright. Today we are going to talk about Self Worth." Dan begins. "Who in here has had a problem with not feeling worthy? Come on, don't be shy. Raise your hands."

         Adeline slowly raised her hand along with over a third of the room. Asher kept his hand down. Dan also raised his hand with the class and nodded his head before continuing.

"Put your hand down if your self worth was destroyed by someone you loved. Say a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend?" Almost all the hands in the room diminished, including Adeline's. She could feel Asher's eyes on her.

         Adeline's father was her best friend. The only person she could tell everything to. He was caring, funny, goofy, and he was the reason Adeline was always happy. He was like her personal pep talker. He always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better.

"Don't waste your time on people who aren't worth it, because you are worth SO much. " He would tell her. That could be the reason why Adeline never had a boyfriend or never many friends. She could never find someone who was worth her time or treated her like she should be treated. Sure, she had friends in high school. But not the type of friends that lasted. When Adeline's father died, she felt worthless. She stopped eating, talking, living. Her mom had to drag her out of her room everyday. Each day went by in a blur.

        In those days, she lost half of her body weight. Starving herself until she couldn't handle it anymore and she passed out.

        She was in the mental hospital for a week.

        Dan also put his hand down, and continued.

"I was a senior in high school when I fell in love for the first time." He began, and Adeline didn't know what she was about her hear, but she knew she didn't want to listen.

"She was beautiful." He laughed while looking up, like he was remembering someone who died. "Long brown hair with eyes to match. Her laugh was contagious. It was the kind of laugh that made everyone else laugh." Adeline could feel herself smiling a little.

"I loved her so much that my life revolved around her. I thought about her the moment I woke up and she was the last person I thought about when I went to sleep. I always wanted to see her and be around her. Love is like a drug. It can be addicting but it can also be unhealthy. For me it became unhealthy." Adeline sat up in her seat to listen better.