BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

Letting It Go

My worst fear just surfaced. The fear I've been living with since Sam was so unfairly taken from me. The fear of finding another only to have them taken away in the same manner.

It will not happen again.

I looked down at Ivy crouched on the floor of my car in tears as the bullets pelted my car. Thankfully my car was bulletproof and fully equipped to withstand such an attack. Thankfully my men had been following close by and I noticed some of these shooters starting to fall. A rage so violent rose up within me that I needed to release it. Removing my gun from my waistband I started to exit the car but Ivy's squeal stopped me. "No Demarco. Please don't leave me". She sobbed out.

Removing the gun from the inner console I took the safety off and handed it to her. "Shoot anyone that comes near. I promise I want let anything happen to you".

As I stepped from the vehicle I could feel her grabbing at my leg begging me not to leave her. A sudden image of the light leaving Sam's eye's entered my mind and more rage overcame me.

It will not happen again.

Walking right out into the chaos I aimed my gun and let loose until I had no more bullets. By the time the smoked cleared not a soul was standing. Suddenly a strong force launched itself onto my back. Taking my arm, I grasped the bastard and slung him over my shoulder. Not wasting any time, I snapped his neck. Everything was a blurr but I remember another man coming at me with a knife. Crouching down, I flung him over my back then turned yanking him up. After delivering a round of punches to his head I stripped the knife from him and slit his throat open. I stood there heaving for breath as my men gathered around me staring in awe. I basically single handily taken this group out by myself.

It will not happen again.

Remembering Ivy I snapped out of my trance and rushed to my car. She was curled in the floor trembling and sobbing. Removing the gun from her shaky hands I spoke. "It's okay. We are safe now".

Ivy launched herself into my arm's crying from relief as much as fear. "Shhh. It's all okay now" I tried to soothe her.

After a moment I pulled her from me and looked into her tear filled eye's. "Ive got to go now and take care of this. The cop's will be pulling up any moment. My men will drive you to your place".

She started shaking her head frantically. "No Demarco don't leave me. I don't want to be alone right now please".

"I know baby but they will stand by your door until I get there. You want be alone".

Ivy continued to argue with me so I just nodded to my men and had them drag her off. I knew what had to be done. I had to let her go. I couldn't drag another woman down into my dark world. Tonight was a close call and all I could think of was the million ways it could have been worse. I'm better off alone for everyone's sake.

It will not happen again.

I had my men remove my car immediately from the scene and take  any that was still breathing to the pit for questioning. This Monday will go down in history that's for sure.

It was close to six Tuesday morning before I made it to Ivy's apartment. Having no sleep nor getting any information out of the few survivor's before I killed them had put me in a foul mood. Now I had to come clean with Ivy and hope for the best. As I entered her apartment I relieved my men from their watch. Ivy was sitting in her kitchen wrapped up in a robe absentmindily stirring her spoon in her coffee cup. When she saw me she lept from the chair and into my arm's. It's right fucking ironic. All I wanted was for her to hug me and possibly be mine. Now that she's doing that I have to cut her loose.

By one look at her I could tell the night had taken it's toll on her and she hasn't slept. "Ivy we need to talk".

"What happened tonight Demarco?" She asked full of worry.

Being as honest as I could I said. "Clearly I was trying to be taken out. By who I'm not exactly sure. That's why we can no longer see each other. No form of communication whatsoever".

"What"? She asked confused.

Taking a deep breath I moved away from her. "Ivy I can't drag you into my lifestyle. It's already cost me one important person and I won't allow it to take another."

"What are you saying Demarco? Are you telling me that after all the hounding you've done, the leading me on that this is it?" She stated a bit angrily.

"I'm sorry Ivy but it's for the best, for both of us. I can't live with the constant worry that something could happen to you and you don't deserve to live like this either". I tried to explain.

"Let me be the judge of that". She insisted.

"No Ivy". I said gruffer than intended. "This is it for us. I simply won't do it. If circumstances were different I'd love nothing more than to get to know you better. Your a fucking lawyer and I'm the bad guy. I'll only ruin you. I want let that happen."

"No, no Demarco, your a coward. You've known this all along. Every time we start getting close you bail. Last time it was your wife. This time it's your job. Jax was right about you. He told me you'd only bring me down, that you never cared about anything or anyone".

Fuck me but she just pushed my button. My big fucking button that light's up red along with a blaring alarm. Before I knew it I was on her and had her pressed into the wall. Holding her face between my hands harshly I bellowed out. "You fucking lied to me. You told me he said nothing. The fuck he tell you?"

"Stop Demarco. Get off me". Ivy cried.

"Fuck you. Tell me what the fuck he said before I really lose my shit".

"H-He said that your all bad. That your sister was taken from him and forced to marry the guy with green eye's. He tried to save Sam from you but she wouldn't listen and that you killed her". Ivy sobbed.

Shoving her skull back against the wall hard I barked. "I didn't fucking kill my wife. I loved her more than I'll ever love anyone. My sister wasn't forced. There is so much you don't know and it's not your fucking business. You've been nothing but a irritating distraction for me but not anymore. We. Are. Done". With that said I released her and started for the door.

The next thing I recall was the vase of pink roses crashing over my head. "Never put your hands on me again in such a manner. Never come into my fucking house and speak to me this way. Fucking crazy bastard talking about we are done. News flash motherfucker we was never anything to begin with. You know even after the event's of the night, after you coming here telling me we couldn't see each other again I was still willing to talk you out of it. Then you said you could never love anyone more than your wife, well that sealed the deal. I will never come in second to anyone especially a man. Now get the fuck out before I lose my shit".

"Did you really just crash a vase over my head bitch?"

"I most certainly did. Why you want more?"

Before I could say anything Ivy picked up a book and sailed it at me followed by a shoe. "Get out". She hurled.

"Trust me I'm going."

As I got ready to open the door a knife zipped by my head and embedded into the door. The fuck I thought. That wasn't luck no, that was skill. There's more to Ivy than she's letting on. Then I remembered her stabbing her attacker to death. There's something she isn't telling but I'll never find out because this is the end of the road for us. Turning to look at her hurt face I said. "I'm sorry Ivy for everything. Please understand I can't let you near me. I'd only bring you pain and downfall".

"Get out Demarco Harper".