BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

In My Feelings

Fuck, I was already in a foul mood due to an argument I had with Ivy before I left now I'm told that there's another urgent meeting I need to attend. All I wanted to do was get back to Ivy and make-up for our morning spat.

It seems we argue more than laugh and to be honest I'm not even sure if we are a couple. Basically I just refused to let her leave once I brought her here. Which is why we argue all the time. We are either fighting or fucking. I'm not going to lie but at time's I feel as if my feelings might be stronger for her than hers are for me.

Maybe that's just my overactive imagination messing with me too. Hell I don't know. I've never been good at relationships or matters of the heart. Well except with one person that refused to give up on me but she's gone now. Thing's were so much easier with Sam. True she stood up to me and occasionally put me in my place but with Ivy?

Ivy is nothing like Sam, not that Sam was weak but Ivy is very headstrong. Whereas Sam would eventually give in to my demands, Ivy will not only not give in but switch that shit up and place the demands on me. She accused me several time's of just wanting to fuck her and nothing more. Well fuck yes I enjoyed fucking her and to be honest I didn't exactly know what I wanted us to become. I did care for her but it wasn't the L word. I keep her here for her own protection. With Jax and my other enemies running about I wasn't going to risk her life but Ivy just wouldn't hear it. She wanted her life back to normal and yea I get that too but this is my final word....she will not leave my protection.

Not only that but my family hasn't made this easy for Ivy either. I understand their concern but damn give her a chance. All these problems has really put a cloud over our growing relationship or whatever it is we are doing. Maybe my Pape was right. Maybe I feel so attached to her because she's my first attempt at getting back out there Maybe I should go back to how I use to be, hit'em and quit'em. No strings attached so therefore no pain.

As I sat through my last meeting I was zoned out thinking of her. After battling with my mind I decided I would let her go back to her place and continue on as normal. However my men would always be nearby and I wanted to continue seeing her. This was a big step for me and I was proud of myself for coming to a better decision.

After the meeting I rushed home to tell her my decision. I knew she'd be happy and that made me happy. As I entered I called out her name but received no answer. Smiling to myself I assumed she was still mad and playing the silent treatment game but when my bedroom came up empty I knew something was amiss. I scouted the rest of my place and nothing. Gripping my phone, I was prepared to start a building search when a slip of paper caught my eye.

Walking to the table I picked it up and read.

"Demarco,
                     I hope in time you can forgive me but I had to go. I can no longer live under your thumb and losing my job today was the final straw. I do believe if our circumstances had been different we would've really been great together. Please don't blame yourself or your family for my departure, it just simply wasn't meant to be. Our timing was all off. Don't bother searching for me because where I am is unattainable but I will be safe. I'm sorry for doing this to you but please believe I truly do care for you and want what's best for all of us. Who knows maybe we will meet again later in life and smile at the memories we made in such a short time and know at one time we weren't enemies. From the Russian mafia queen to the Italian Mafia king, I will always hold you dear and may we never need to go against each other.
                                     With love
                                        Ivanya Kerverso

A rage so vile erupted inside me as I crumpled the paper up. I knew exactly where she went and I knew exactly who helped her escape. Ivy knew I couldn't seek her out in Russia because it would go against the treaty.  Racing from my pad, I ran to my parent's apartment. Slinging the door open I found my mother organizing my Pape's closet for him as he laid across the bed guessing at Wheel of Fortune.

When my mom saw me she stopped what she was doing and exited the closet with a smile. "Hey baby, you want something to eat".

"Fuck you". I sneered.

Her smile dropped instantly as she stared at with confusion. "Excuse me Demarco?" She asked somewhat stunned at my word's.

"Don't play your innocent bullshit on me" I spat. "You know perfectly well what you did".

"Demarco what the hell are you talking about?" She demanded.

"You fucking sent Ivy away. You helped her escape". I yelled bending down to her short stature.

"I did no such thing". She protested. "I had no idea she was even gone".

"Bullshit woman. Day at the spa my ass. Tell me how long did it take you to plan this?"

"Demarco how could you even think I would do something like that. I would never do that to you. I was trying to get along with her for your sake". She yelled back.

"No, fuck you mom. Never would I thought you'd go against me like this. You might can get over on Pape with all your hair brain schemes but not me. Did having another queen present threaten you that bad? Your nothing but a meddling bitch".

No sooner than those word's left my mouth I felt myself slung against the wall with a magnitude of force followed by a blow to my chin. "Never speak to my wife that way I don't care if she's your mother". My Pape belted out in a deadly tone as he gripped me by my shirt collars.

"It was me that helped her. She came to this morning and wanted to go so I fucking sent her. Your mother knows nothing of this. No one does". He growled. "You want to fight someone son fight me but you will never come at her like that. Am I fucking understood? The best thing you can do is get far from me at the moment and apologize to your mother". He snarled.

Never had my Pape ever talked to me with such venom. I clearly saw what people meant when they said that man would go crazy on anyone who dares threaten my mom.

He shoved me hard into the wall one last time before he dropped me like a sack of trash. I was still super pissed but at him now but I knew I owed my mom an apology first. I felt shame for having said what I did to the woman who always had my back no matter what. As I searched her out the room was empty of her presence. Stepping from her bedroom I called her name but nothing. My Pape joined me as I looked over the house for her. It was obvious that she was gone. She must have slipped out when my Pape exposed the truth. My Pape looked at me and snarled. "You better pray that she doesn't go out and get herself hurt in order to make you happy". With that my Pape stormed out in search of her.

I stood there in shame at how I treated her and knew my Pape was right. My mom would try to seek Ivy out if it meant my happiness. Grabbing the door handle I left to join my Pape in the search.