BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

The Last Goodbye

The day finally arrived. The day I had been dreading but waiting to get over with at the same time. The day that finalized everything, made it all real. The day I let go of my Dem for good.

My emotions were on a roller coaster ride from the time I woke. I cried at knowing this was it, I'd no longer be married to my one and only love. I'd no longer see him. I wouldn't be a Harper anymore. I'd be free to live my life as I pleased. My nerves were on edge wondering how Demarco would react. Would he show his ass which was so typical of him? Would he act like the ruthless, heartless mafia king? Or just may be he would agree to my terms and go peacefully.

Whatever the outcome was didn't alter the fact that it was over. Do I want to let my husband go? Absolutely not but I don't have it in me to fight over a man. I've been fighting since I met Demarco and I'm just tired. Signing those paper's will truly feel like taking a blade to my own wrist but I must set Demarco free.

You see I've always struggled with wondering if I was good enough for him, queen enough to stand by his side. Was I strong enough? Ivy was trained, breed for this. I'm an outsider and even with Laney guiding me I knew I wasn't enough, I wasn't what he needed. I fell short where Ivy stood strong. I wasn't a mafia breed woman. Yes, Demarco always said I was what he wanted, that he didn't want one of the stiffs. That's a nickname for those women, but then one of those stiffs slid right in and took him from me.

There's plenty I could do to keep him I know but why? He'd only end up miserable. But one thing I want allow myself to be is bitter. Yes, he hurt me but I'm not going to dwell on it for the rest of my life. Sure it's going to take time to heal but with the help of Ethan it shouldn't take long. I'm not going to keep him in my life by playing petty, spiteful game's or trying to make him pay. No, I'm too strong a woman for that, I respect myself too much to try to ruin him. In other word's he will be a distant memory, a stranger I use to know and I'll wish him well.

As for Ivy, I truly believe you get what you give. There's plenty I could do to her especially knowing she's on the run but once again that would only keep ties with Dem. I just want to wash my hands of the entire situation.

Grabbing my back, I checked myself over and made my way to our final meeting. Our last goodbye.

My lawyer was waiting for me in a private conference room. Small and strangely cozy to be such a ending. I was thankful Demarco agreed to this private hearing instead of a long, drug out trial type case. As we waited on Demarco's arrival my lawyer went over last minute details and such but my mind kept wandering thinking of what was to come.

Finally the door opened and Demarco walked in. To be honest his face held just as much strain as did mine, yet he still made my knees weak. His suit fit his large frame just right and he still carried that air of arrogance about him. Yet I knew he was anything but that, but to others it would seem that way. He greeted us and took a seat across from me. "Shall we begin?" My lawyer asked.

Demarco glanced at me then nodded his head for the both of us. Clearing his throat my lawyer begin. "We are here today to grant a divorce between Samantha Harper and Demarco Harper. There is some stipulations per request of Mrs. Harper. If we can come to an agreement today everything can be finalized".

Before my lawyer could proceed Demarco said rather in a rush. "Give her whatever she wants".

I looked up at him a bit startled. No fights, no arguments, not even one "the fucks".

My lawyer spoke. "By law I do have to read out what Mrs. Harper requires and make sure you fully understand before we sign anything. Demarco only gave a short grunt as a answer.

"Mrs. Harper is requesting a sum of one million dollar's for breech of martial contract." My lawyer supplied.

There was no facial exspression from Dem. He just sat still and nodded his head. "That's fine". He said almost too calmly.

It took a good twenty minutes for all the paper's to be signed and copies made. As we got to the last paper that would finalize everything that we had shared, that would break our bond of marriage Demarco hesitated then dropped the pen. Looking at my lawyer he said. "I would like a word with Sam alone first".

My lawyer looked at me for permission and I slowly nodded my head okay. The lawyer excused himself and the room suddenly became even smaller. We sat in silence for a few seconds probably both in our own thoughts. Finally Demarco broke the ice. "Sam I just wanted to have one last word with you as husband and wife. Please believe me I didn't want any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you."

I couldn't respond because I didn't trust my voice but then something happened that I'd never thought I'd ever see... Demarco was crying.

"I hate myself Sam. I've ruined so many lives for my own selfish ass ways. I pulled you into the life with promises to love and protect you but I couldn't even keep that. But I do love you Sam. I do, please believe me on that. I-I thought you was gone Sam, in my coma. I lived a entirely different life from my reality. I went through grievance over you. I know it's sounds so taboo but I actually thought I was with her then." He paused taking a ragged breath.

Swiping his tears away he continued. "When I woke and heard the story I still wasn't sure if you was alive. I didn't know what I would be coming home to. I'm not saying any of this is fair, it's not for anyone involved but.." he paused taking a deep breath.

Reaching down to a bag he had brought in with him, he removed my fuzzy orange pajama bottoms. In a choked voice he spoke and held them to him absentmindily stroking them. "I know how you loved these so I wanted to bring them to you."

Wiping his eye's again he spoke on through his tear muffled voice. "These thing's are so ugly but I loved seeing you in them. I never told you that Sam. There's so much I never told you like how you always had to sleep on the left side of the bed even though I preferred the left side but to be honest  I loved it that way. You fit so perfectly beside me".

He stopped and buried his head in his hands and slumped down. I watched as his shoulders shook with his muffled sobs. Looking up at me red eyed he said. "I'm not going to ask you to come back. I know you won't but just know that I know I fucked up and I just hope you can forgive me cupcake."

What was left of my heart was shattering. This all hurt, we both hurt. It was hard reeling my emotions in and I caught myself saying. "Don't make me break Dem, please don't make me break". But it was too late and a sob escaped on my last word.

Immediately Demarco was around the table and kneeled in front of me. He wiped my tears off with his thumb as his own tears fell freely. "I'm so sorry Sam but I know it's too late. I'll never stop loving you but you deserve better. I wish there was something I could do to make you come home". He sobbed.

We held onto each other for several moment's trying to regain our composure. "If you ever need anything, if anyone tries to hurt you I'll always be here. I'll always protect you. I'll always want you. It will always be you. I may move on but it will always be you. You are who I am and I lost that thinking I wanted other thing's. Your in my every breath cupcake... please always remember that."

Swiping his eye's once again he stepped back and retrieved the pen. We both looked at each other waiting for the other to say no. After a long silence of either speaking up he signed the paper and with one last look at me walked out.

That was it.

This was our end.