BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

D Day

Today was the day. The day Demarco would finally get his divorce from Sam and we would be free to persue our relationship. I should be happy, elated but I wasn't. My worries and nerves wouldn't allow me to be. I can't help but think Sam will have a change of heart and give Dem another chance and I know he'd be gone. I'd lose him to her.

It's very clear that Dem still loves her. Not just because he told me so but at the mere mention of her name you can see it in his eye's. His face carries around the pain of loseing her.

I never meant or wanted to hurt anyone. I'm not proud of destroying a marriage. I think at time's I should've just kept my mouth shut and not blurted out the truth to Sam. The only reason I did it was because I knew Dem would never be able too. Yes, he claimed he was going to tell her soon but I just didn't buy it and the longer he waited the less likely he would be mine. He'd forget about me for being so wrapped up in her so I had to do something to put a wedge between them. I know it sounds harsh but everything I did I did out of love for Dem.

Love can make you do crazy thing's and I wanted Demarco. I'd stop at nothing to get him. No, I can't honestly explain my love for him but it came duiring the time I was taking care of him. He was so weak and vulnerable and I'd trace his jawline or smooth his forehead while he was under. My heart hurt for him as he would call out for Sam duiring his coma. He'd cry and beg for her to come back, confess his love over and over. I'd try to comfort him with encouraging word's but there was no peace for him.

I was already jealous of Sam before I even knew her. I was jealous that she had someone that loved her so where I had never experienced love at all. I wanted someone to love me that much and I wanted it to be him. I wanted to feel that. I wanted to know what it was like to be cherished so. No, it's wasn't fair to either of them at what I did but I loved him and I know if given the chance Dem can love me like that too. It may take time but eventually he would, I 'd make sure of it. He has told me he feels something for me but wasn't sure how to label it but with Sam out of the picture now I'm sure he will give into those feelings.

He's been in court for nearly four hour's and I wanted to call him so bad to see if it was over yet. To ease my nagging mind of the possibility that they reconciled but I wouldn't allow myself to do so. He needed time and I didn't want to be pushy this day.

Needing something to do to take my mind from him I decided to go to the Den for a workout. To my excitement it was empty or so I thought so. I had just started my jog when Laney popped up from nowhere sweaty and drinking from her pink bottle of water. A bit startled I jumped. "I was just working out". I said as if I 8 had been caught doing something wrong.

"No problem with that". She said with a underlying edge.

I got the sense that Laney wasn't too fond of me. I'm sure it had to do with my involvement with her son. I felt the need to explain myself. "I'm sorry Mrs. Harper. I never meant to be trouble. I didn't want it to end this way. I do love your son though. I did it for love".

To my surprise she snorted. "If that's how you handle love tread lightly with my son's heart. You've already damaged it as well as another person's heart that I care for. I've never told you what I thought but I think I will now. You should have minded your own business and not split a marriage. Oh and another thing, I know the thing's you did to Sam. I'm telling you now to leave her be. If you go after her again it will be me that comes for you and trust me, you won't walk away".

Before I could tell her I wasn't going to bother Sam again her husband walked up. Giving her a knowing look  he asked with suspicion. "What are you up to babydoll?"

Instantly her face fell into a stunning smile of innocence and she tweaked his nose. "Oh London, we was just sharing workout tips. You know like the best motivations to get you to run faster". She gave me a pointed look when she said that as if she was telling me I'd never be able to get away from her.

London grinned and fell right into her clutches or so I thought. He pulled her away an chuckled. "Isn't it a bit early to be making death threats babydoll?"

She sighed as if she carried the weight of the world. "It's never too early to call it like I see it." London laughed and looked down on her like she was a surprise gift.

Lifting her over his shoulder he waltzed off to the mats where he dropped her like a sack of potatoes. When she tried to get up he'd keep sweeping her legs and laughing. After several attempts I watched in amazement as she finally got fed up and jumped over his next sweep. Laney quickly climbed his back and placed her hands in position around his head then twisted his neck. If she had not been playing and been serious she could've just snapped his neck. As London's neck was twisted back toward her he gave her a smooch then smiled as he flipped her over his shoulder but took careful ease at how she landed.

My mood suddenly not into working out I left. As I was riding the elevator up it stopped on the main floor and the doors opened to Dem waiting. His face seemed strained as he stepped in. "Hey". I greeted softly.

He only nodded and I knew he was bothered. I knew I had to do something to make him feel better but also to ensure him that he made the right decision. Pushing him up against the elevator wall I launched myself on him and devoured his mouth. Pulling away when the doors opened I said breathlessly. "I want you to make love to me right now."

He didn't look as surprised or as happy as I thought he would be. "Now's not the time Ivy". He said slowly.

Taking him by the hand I led him off the elevator. "I need you right now Dem as much as you need this". I said letting him into my apartment.

As I picked up where I left off his movements seemed to be robotic. There seemed to be a lack of interest on his part. Not knowing what else to do I peeled my clothes off and stood before him naked. "You need this Dem". I whispered.

I could see the struggle on his face. He wanted to fight the feeling so I stepped closer and placed his hand on my breast. "I'm ready Dem". I encouraged him.

Eventually I won the battle as he shook his head no but then attacked me with his mouth. I'd like to say my first time was sweet, filled with loving word's but it wasn't. If anything Dem remained distant, emotionally cut off. Yes he was gentle and coached me through it but that was it. Afterwards he just rolled off me and laid there gazing up at the ceiling. No word's, no cuddles, just silence. After what seemed like hours I went to the bathroom to freshen up. When I came back out he was already dressed. Looking at me he stuttered. "I-Ive got to go. I just can't handle this right now.  I-I just can't. I'm sorry".

I swore there was tears in his eye's as he ran out. Yes I was hurt and felt used but I wouldn't give up. He could love me. He had too.

We spoke a few day's later but it was strained and we didn't bring up what had happened between us. That evening he declined dinner with me and I knew he was going to see Sam off. It hurt like hell but at least now she'd be states away and maybe, just maybe Demarco can focus on us now".