BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

Mending My Heart

You know I've told myself repeatedly that I'm over Dem. That I'm better off without him, that I'm going to be okay and I truly believed it....until he showed up at my place.

With the first touch of his hand upon my arm, the first word he uttered, the first time I turned to look at him, it all came rushing back. All the love I had for him along with all the hurt swam through my body like a swordfish stabbing all my open wounds. Wounds that probably would never heal. It's ironic how they call it a brokenheart but you never hear it crack. Well not on the outside anyways. Inside my soul I not only heard it but I felt each piece disintegrate and the fragments puncture me from the inside out.

No, I wasn't over him by a long shot and seeing him just now proved it. Yes, I put my tough girl face on and I refused to let him see me cry but in reality I wanted to jump into his arm's and plead and beg for him not to do this but my pride won't allow it. I still wanted to lash out at him and that bitch as well but I knew anything I did would harm our pending court date. All that would need to wait. Yes I did drown his car, kill someone and loose my head for a moment and it felt fucking good, but now I had to focus on winning in court.

I've went through some changes since our separation. First I lightened my hair a bit, always wore make-up and took better care on my dressing mannerisms. I went from a bookish nerd to one hot mama in one day. I reunited with some of my old college pals and started going out some duiring the night's and that's how I met Ethan.

Immediately we hit it off especially  when I discovered he was from Alabama as well. In fact just a few towns from where I had lived.

Ethan was everything I needed at the moment. Fun, carefree, charming, hot but most importantly he was normal. He wasn't connected to the mafia in any shape or form. Ethan was a contractor for a prestigious company and visiting New York for work. We shared the remainder of his stay together but I didn't sleep with him. We did find ourselves in the middle of a few heated make out sessions but I kept it G rated.

I didn't tell him I was in the mist of a divorce with the Italian Mafia king and I planned on keeping it that way. As far as he knew I'd never been married and nor anyone else in my future would know that. Soon as the ink dries on our divorce paper's I'm taking my mom and going back to Alabama. New York did me in and I needed a slower pace. Ethan actually gave me the idea of moving back home. Once there we were planning on trying to persue a relationship.

Yes, once I left I was leaving it all behind. No more Dem, no more Harper's and no more Ivy. I currently still work at Laney's company but sadly she hasn't been in the office. If I know her she's probably busy watching Ivy's every move. I will really miss her as well as Miri.

After I left Dem out on the busy sidewalk I rushed to my apartment and locked myself away in the bathroom to cry in privacy away from my mom. Eventually I pulled myself together and went to tell my mom goodnight. As I was walking back to the kitchen for a water I heard my door buzz. I thought that odd it being so late and no one knew exactly where I lived. Cautiously I looked put the peep hole. My heart took another beating as I saw who stood on the other side. Swinging the door open I stared into Laney's sympathetic face.

Not able to fight my emotions my face crumbled and sobs racked my body. "Awww.... Sam". She cooed as she stepped in taking me into her arm's. Laney ushered me to the couch and sat down beside me. She placed my head on her shoulder and rocked me as if I was a baby while muttering word's of comfort. Finally I calmed down and sat up. "I'm sorry". I mumbled.

"Sam you have nothing to be sorry about. You've done nothing wrong". Laney assured me. "Your hurting and angry right now. You know how I love my son but I can't hold anything you do to him against you. Had London pulled something like this on me I'm sure I'd be hell on heels too".