Royal Misfits

Chapter Twenty One - Begin Again

Liz and Tate had left during the early hours of the morning,  I couldn't go back to bed and Ethan went off on his own. He said that there was something he had to do and I figured that he was most probably checking up on the security of the Island. It was too early to do anything extreme, so I found myself at the shore, waiting to be kissed by sunlight.  The air was crisp and the sound of the waves greeting the shore was music to my ears. Absolute beauty, I was surrounded by absolute beauty. This Island is the perfect escape from our normal lives. 

It was as if Mother Nature could read my mind because the sun started to rise, her warmth touched my skin while the wind swept away my hair from my face. Memories flashed through my mind, the first one from yesterday. I could see all four of us in the water, splashing each other and laughing to our hearts content. That is a memory that I will cherish forever. My mind slipped back in time, memories from when Ethan and I began courting started to float out in front of me. Memories from our camping trip brought a smile to my face but my eighteenth birthday, that was one that I couldn't remember. 

I tried to focus on the memory, trying to remember the sound of the music or the smell of the food, but that didn't help at all. I thought that if I looked at my engagement ring long enough I would remember, but that only made things worse. I felt my chest tighten and my eyes became clouded with tears. "Oh no...", I thought to myself, "Why can't I remember what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life?". My body felt tired, all of me was tired, tired from trying so hard. I was too tired to hold back the tears and the screams, "WHY?", I screamed at the direction of the ocean, as if I would get answer. 

"Amelia?", I felt his hand on my shoulder as he made his way around me to face me. "I'm sorry, why are you hurting my love?", he embraced me with a hug. My hands clung to his shirt as if my life depended on it and I just let everything out. After a minute or two, I was able to speak clearly, "I can't remember Ethan." He drew circles on my back with his fingertips in an attempt to calm me down, "You will, in time, the doctor said you will remember again." I looked up at him, "And what if I don't?", I asked in fear of that reality. 

Ethan sighed and placed a kiss on my forehead, "Don't worry, you will.". That didn't make me feel better at all, I've been hearing that for the past few days but there has been no improvement. I slowly pulled out of his embrace and turned away from him "You don't understand what I'm saying Ethan. What if I don't remember at all? I'm scared Ethan, I am so scared that I won't remember the important details and events, I'm afraid that I won't remember the most precious moments that we shared and most importantly, I'm terrified that I won't remember how we got engaged!", I hadn't realised that I was crying and that I had my left hand held up to his face. Upon realisation of my actions, I quickly pulled back my hand and turned away again and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm just so afraid. Everyone has been so strong for me, You, Liz, Tate and my parents are trying so hard to see the positive outcome, but what if there isn't one?"

Ethan stood there speechless at first, he was taken aback by my sudden confession. He approached me slowly, unsure if he was making the right move now. "I understand completely Amelia, I understand what you are saying. Please don't ever feel like you can't talk to me, and about your memory, trust me, it will come back. I have faith in God and faith in you, your memory will come back at the perfect moment. I'm so sorry that I couldn't see how this really affected you, I'm so sorry that you felt like you had to be strong for all of us. I promise you that I will be here with you, every step of the way. You have me, please don't ever feel like you're alone in this." 

His words touched my heart, they really brought ease to me after my episode. "Thank you.",  a thank you was all that I could manage, I was too overwhelmed at this point. Ethan took my hand in his, "Come, walk with me." As we walked, my mood lightened up a bit. I was glad that I got everything off my chest. I felt free, to some extent. "What do you want to do today?", I asked him as I smiled down at our intertwined fingers.