Freaks Have More Fun

Chapter Seven

 

Chapter Seven~

 

 

 

“You asked him about Haven, didn't you?” Dean pulled Paige aside at lunch the next say, eyes wide and sad. “Charles? You asked him about Haven, didn't you?” Paige only nodded mutely, causing the slightly taller boy to sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, studying the brunette silently. “He's going to hurt you. You know this, right? He'll break you and he'll enjoy it. That's the kind of person he is, and no matter what he tells you, being near is him just gonna hurt you.”

 

“I need answers Dean. I can't just hide away with you guys and pretend like I'm okay with not knowing these things! I need to know, I don't want to be left in the dark...” Paige bit back a sob, wondering when this started to matter so much. It was just a way back in, wasn't it? How she was going to get back to her real friends? Sure she had to get dirt on them but this was... more. She was starting to care, which was bad.

 

“Hey, hey, it's okay. I get it, You must be used to knowing stuff, you were basically one of the queen bees here. But with us... We don't share some of these things. We aren't very trusting. Too many of us have been hurt, okay? And Charles... well I like you Paige. And he's either going to hurt you or change you.”

 

Paige took a deep breath, leaning against Dean who had slipped an arm over her shoulders gently. “I just want... I want to feel like I belong here? I have no one else, you guys are... Before I had you guys to hand out with I was always alone. I don't want to be alone, I wanna be accepted. I want to have friends again, real friends.” The words slipped out and it was only when she was done that Paige realized she was being honest for once.

 

“You do belong here Paige, that's the thing. You and Haven are good friends already, she loves you. The other girls think you're great. The guys think you're cool, pretty, nice, awesome, etc. I like you, I mean you're nice to me. Which is more than most people. So what we don't tell you a bunch of secrets. I have a strong suspicion we're nowhere near finding out your plot twist.”

 

Paige arched an eyebrow. “My plot twist? What are you talking about? And... thank you for that. You have no idea how hard it is to join a whole new group. Especially when they're all set and have their stories and everything.”

 

“Don't I?” Dean looked at her with something like sympathy in his eyes. “I was like you once Paige. When I came out, I had no one. Haven invited me to sit with her but it was a school thing. And then I started to get to know everyone else and I felt out of place. But you know what? That's the thing about this group, we're all outcasts. And we call fit in because we might not belong anywhere else.” He gave her a small smile as he pulled her into a hug.

 

“Thanks Dean,” Paige sighed. “It's hard, though. Because...” She paused, how honest could she be? “I thought they were my friends but they kicked me out, left me on my own. And that's pretty damn messed up. I just wish I had real friends before, you know? I thought they were going to stay with me, help me through everything until the end. And now... Now I just don't know.”

 

“The thing about friends is that sometimes they really suck,” Dean started. “Sometimes they hurt you more than anyone because they know the words that cut deep and pick them carefully. You trust people not to hurt you but they always do and you keep going back for more because that's what people do. And that's messed up but it's life and we have to make the best of it.”

 

“Elegy told me we're all just stories,” Paige stared ahead vacantly. “I don't want to be a story. I don't wanna grow up and be whispers about rope necklaces and old friends and biology tests and relived glory days. I don't want this to be remembered as something that was good, I want to be remembered for me. A real person, not a story.”

 

Dean shook his head. “You don't see it yet, do you? The thing about people is they're so complicated, so layered that there is no way a story could ever do them justice. We are a mess of plot twists and character flaws, more complicated than any character you could write. And you know why? It's because we're living and breathing and changing. On paper, in memories, these things look easy but they aren't. Changing hurts, Paige, it hurts more than anything but sometimes it hurts less than staying the same.”

 

“I was happy before,” Paige whispered. Then, realizing what she said, she shook her head. “I wasn't happy. I hated that, I hated being always under pressure to be perfect. I hated the backstabbing and the gossip and the judging and the constant reminder than I'm Not Good Enough for them. I'm... happier, now, I think.”

 

Dean smiled at Paige and nodded. “See? You're growing, changing. You recognize this and that's amazing. I know you're going to be happy but please, please stay away from Charles. He's gonna hurt you, more than the rest of us. He's a serpent, gifted with a silver tongue and an angel's eyes. I don't want you to be his next victim.”

 

“I'm not a victim,” Paige stated quietly. “And I don't care what he's done to other people, I'm above him. I won't let him get under my skin, change me. He will never, ever break me, I'm stronger than that, I know I am.” The gay boy just gave the brunette a small smile when she finished speaking.

 

“I really, really hope you're right.”