THE MURDERER AND I

chapter two: the motel

You were gone. Dean was gone. I had pushed your body into the lake nearby. After the police had left, I went back to where you had hidden our car in the alley. I prayed it was there, and I have know idea how, but it was. I felt as if I were in a daze. I couldn't believe you were gone, but somehow, I didn't feel a single emotion. I wasn't happy, or sad, or angry. Nothing.

I drove for hours without end. I didn't stop, I didn't need to. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was going to do, but I knew I had to get away from all of this. Far away. I drove and drove and drove, finally settling on California. You had packed money in our bags, and lots of it. I figured I would change my name and buy an apartment or something.

I arrived just at the border of California, looking for a place to stay. I spotted a small motel, and pulled into the driveway. It was old and run down.

"Hi, welcome to California" And old woman said from the front desk, "What can I get for you?"

"Uh, can I just get a room with one bed." I looked around nervously. There wasn't anyone else there.

"Sure honey..." She looked at me suspiciously, her eyes staring deep into mine, as if she knew everyone of my secrets. I swear she did.

I tried to convince myself she didn't know anything. The story couldn't have gotten out so quickly, right?
It was probably because I looked like a mess. I hadn't really changed after everything that happened.

She gave me the key to my room, and I grabbed the bags I had carried with me from the car. I walked up the stairs and sighed as I entered my room.

Plopping down on the bed, I went over everything that had just happened. I still couldn't believe it. Any of it. I was really on my own now. Maybe that wasn't so bad..

I walked over to the bathroom and looked into the scratched mirror. Jesus christ... No wonder that poor old lady had looked at me like that. I was a fucking mess. I turned on the shower, and continued to look at my tired face as the water warmed up. Dried blood and dirt was smeared all over me, and don't even mention my clothes. My hair. My hair was a tangled mess, with a few leaves here and there. I took of my tight clothes, rubbing at the indents they had left. There were bruises all over my body, from the fall I was guessing. I couldn't tell if some were bruises or not.

I got into the shower, letting the scorching hot water run down my back. I stood there absentmindedly, worrying about what tomorrow would bring. Most importantly, I found myself worrying about what I had just gotten into, just like I had worried that night I killed Steph with Dean. Dean. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I couldn't believe he was gone. But like I said, maybe that wasn't a bad thing.