THE MURDERER AND I

chapter fourteen: waking up alone

I woke up the next morning with a terrible feeling at the bottom of my stomach. And I woke up alone.

Ryder hadn't come home last night, and I have no idea where he went. It's not like I could go around searching for him when I'm wanted.

I walked out into the living room to find only Jax and Ace awake. I was guessing they were worried too.

"Ryder didn't come last night did he?" Jax asked.

"No." I replied, sitting down at the table.

"I'm sure he's fine. Ryder's tough." Ace eased.

It was quiet for a moment. But worry filled the room. Worry for a stupid 17 year old boy who's heart took over their mind.

"I have to go after him. I have to find him." I finally spoke, looking up at their worried faces.

"You know you can't do that, what if you get caught?" Jax said it in more of a statement than a question.

"Then so be it. I'm not one to get caught anyways." I muttered.

"We'll all go. Ryder's our friend too." Someone spoke up from behind us. We turned around to find the younger boys looking at us with tough faces.

"We can't all go." Jax sighed.

"Yes we can." Fox sneered, not willing to give up.

"Let 'em." Ace said carelessly, shaking the ashes off his cigarette.

"Isn't it a little early to smoke?" I joked.

"Never too early to smoke." He replied, flashing me a smile.

"Get ready then. We'll be leaving soon." Jax ordered, nodding to the boys to make breakfast.

I headed back to my room to change into some actual clothes and get ready for the day. After I was done, and I made sure no one was looking, I looked for my duffle bag. I found it under the bed and searched for something I had kept hidden from Ryder, from everyone. My gun. The very one I used to kill every single one of those kids.

"What's that?" A voice said behind me, making me jump.  I turned around to find Ace leaning against the doorway.

"Jesus christ, ever heard of knocking?" I scolded.

"Sorry, just wanted to let you know breakfast was ready..." His voice faded once he saw what I was holding. I quickly shoved it back in my bag, praying he hadn't seen it.

"Is that a gun?" He asked calmly, eyeing my duffle bag.

"Yeah." I replied, shoving my bag back under the bed.

"What do you need a gun for?"

"You never know what you're gonna need it for."

"You don't need it." He said seriously.

"I might." I finished, cutting him off.

It was quiet for a moment after that before Scout barged in with a goofy smile on his face.

"Hey guys Jax says eat your breakfast before we go find Ryder!" He smiled.

We made our way to the kitchen to eat the food Jax had prepared. We all ate pretty quickly, anxious to find out where Ryder had gone.

Once we were done we headed outside. Ace opened the front door for me, and I stepped outside, wondering what kind of trouble Ryder had gotten himself into.