Good Enough |✅|

Pam

I had thought things could change if Daniel was actually rejected by Jeremiah.
But my life was so crappy that not only did that happen in the most lopsided way possible but another event shattered the slightest bit of peace that had started to gather over our heads.

Who knew something like that was gonna happen to Jeremiah?!

But the harder part?
Everybody else around him was way more affected. Never had I expected that Raul would get so riled up to actually shout at me for no apparent reason because of his friend's friend's mother's death. A friend who could've become his boyfriend and this possible boyfriend's friend who he loathed more than anything.
If that makes any sense!

And now we were all hitchhiking to this lost kid's house. And you must've guessed already that Raul was the only reason I was following Daniel and Susan to Jeremiah's place. And grudgingly, Raul's reason was Daniel.

We reached his house which was not too flashy yet little bit shabby a plot of land. My eyes were fixed on Raul the whole time. Before we rang the doorbell however, I threw my gaze over the bushes. Given Jeremiah's mindset and current situations, I was surprised when the door actually opened, slowly, revealing a dark hallway and the smell of rotting apples. Jeremiah's head popped up behind the wood.

I couldn't decide if I would've had preferred a tear-stained, flustered face or the face Jeremiah was donning.

He actually had a slight smile playing on his lips but the eyes gave it away. They were completely alarmed. It was pure creepy to be honest. He looked scary even for his grin. Or maybe it was because of his grin.
Creepy face or not, his words were the same with another slight exception of the strangest feel in his tone of voice.

Jeremiah : And what do you want?

Daniel : Oh shit . . . Jeremiah . . .

Jeremiah looked down. He didn't seem to have noticed the rest of us yet. Including Susan.
The door opened wider. Slowly again. Daniel approached him. Jeremiah let him in.

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

Raul started to grow rigid beside me. The rest couldn't care less.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Daniel took two more steps and he embraced Jeremiah like he meant it. And if that wasn't enough, Jeremiah actually hugged back.
I could almost literally hear something snap inside Raul's head. Or was it his heart?

Fucking hell, I'm out.

Since Jeremiah clearly did not need me or Kaedan or Raul or Tara either (I couldn't care less about Susan), I gestured to them if we could leave. Kaedan shrugged, Tara pursed her lips but Raul did nothing. He continued staring at the pair who were still locked in each other's arms. From a normal point of view, it'd just look like two good friends hugging because one of them was lamenting. But from Raul's point of view and my point of view, it was emphatically and most disastrously different.

Something happened after that. I couldn't really remember what but I soon found myself being led away from that place. Also I found my face becoming wetter and wetter with each step until I started bawling like crazy.
After we left Jeremiah's neighbourhood did I realise that my only escort was Kaedan.

Kaedan : Shh . . . shh. Calm down.

Pam : I don't . . . Sob . . . know what's . . . Sniff . . . I'm sorry, I—

Kaedan patted my back gently. A few more minutes later, I finally managed to get a grip on myself.

Pam : What happened? I— where are Raul and Tara and . . . Daniel and Susan?

Kaedan : Well, Daniel and Susan are probably still at Jeremiah's and as for Raul and Tara . . . They were reluctant at first but left along with us. I offered to walk you home and . . . and Raul said he understood. . . Or something. Or that you'd understand that he wanted to be . . . I dunno . . . alone apparently and . . .

Kaedan came to an abrupt end. Maybe because I was staring at him queerly and definitely not in the most debonair way.

Pam : Oh . . . I see.

Kaedan then looked at me like I was forgetting something. Was I? I tried hard to recollect if there was something that I was supposed to be knowing at that moment. . . . .
And then it struck me.

I had fucking told him I'd go out with him! Or in better words—

I was fucking supposed to be his girlfriend or something!

Okay, I couldn't hide my embarrassment even if I smacked myself pale.

Pam : Ah, Kaedan . . . I—

Kaedan : Hey, why did you start crying?

He sounded uncomfortably strange. He kept switching his gaze between me and the ground.

Kaedan : Was it for Jeremiah? Or . . . Raul?

The size of the heavy stone over my heart doubled.

Pam : You know, I can't believe how selfish I am. The poor kid's lost his mother. He's probably out of his mind. I do feel bad for him maybe. And yet, what I notice more clearly is him hugging Daniel. All I notice is Raul noticing him hugging Daniel. All I notice is . . . Raul's uncouth reaction—

My voice breaks again.
Ah shit, why now? Why Kaedan?

We humans are unreasonable creatures. We are ruled by our emotions. And maybe I could understand that completely at that moment because of my conflicting head.
Or maybe it was because I forgot to realise that it was Kaedan's turn to snap.

That's right. He snapped. But in the worst way possible.

He kissed me. Hard.

And I allowed him. Why?
Because I was just that selfish.
Just that helpless.

And because there was nothing I could do about it.
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Would you rather : PamxKaedan or PamxRaul? (Hmmmmmmmm?)
Comment!
And also don't forget to vote if you liked this chapter. . . .  ;)
Peace!
- Mallina