The Irwin Chronicles//lashton

Show-Time

Ashtons P.O.V. 

"Ashton what the hell has gotten into you!?" He yells as he pushes me. I stumble backwards, almost losing my balance. Catching myself just in time. 

"Nothing, just a little nervous." I say stepping back even more from him trying to avoid any conflict and avoid almost falling again.

"No, Ashton this is different. Something else is wrong." He begs, taking another step closer. 

"Nothing is wrong! I'm just nervous and tired!" I scream back at him. Balling my fist by my sides. 

No one can know. He cannot know. 

"Get the hell over it then." Luke says as he heads for the door. 

His anger filled body tenses before he walks out the door and pauses. "Are you sure your just nervous....Nothing else?" He says his tone softer this time, almost concerned, he turns around to face me. His eyes filled with a bit of concern but mostly anger. 

I shake my head yes, holding back any emotion. With out anymore words exchanged between us he walks out the door.

Get yourself together Ashton, what the hell are you thinking.  Your such a fuck up.

I walk out behind him.

"Luke........" I say instantly regretting it. But it's to late. Like the flash, he's back in front of me.

      "What." His stone cold words hit me.

I don't say anything and push past him. The waves of guilt pass over me. Why where only a few slits causing me such pain.

You idiot, it was an old blade. With old blood. That sat there for a few years with out being washed.

"Ashton where the hell are you going?" He yells after me.

I can't bring myself to speak. I walk back out on to the stage to finish sound check. 
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The rest of sound check went smoothly, I didn't mess up anymore. I feel proud. The only problem is the throbbing from my wrist. I need to see what's wrong. We finish up and I stand up from my drum kit and head backstage to the bathroom.  I turn the corner and walk into the bathroom that's just outside the Green-Room. Thank God it's a single person one. I double check to make sure the door is locked behind me. As I push the sleeve up the cuts are inflamed and red, painful to the touch, the skin is  puffy around it. It's definitely infected.....How am I gonna deal with this.  The show starts in half an hour. I need to go to the hospital. Minute by minute the pain is getting worse. I know what I have to do.

I unlock the bathroom door and walk over to Luke.

    "Hey can I tell you something?" I utter

Don't tell him. You will seem like an attention whore.

"Actually....never-mind, it's not important." I say as I start to walk away but suddenly I'm pulled back by him grabbing my arm.

"Are you sure?" He says. The tone of his voice is worry some.

"Yes. I'm sure." I say, breaking free from his grip. 

The management crew rushes in to usher us to the stage. I take my place on the drums and the show begins.
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"I feel like that was a great show mates!" Michael says
      "Yea it was!" Calum agrees as he heads for the couch to sit down.

No it wasn't it was terrible, you did absolutely horrible. You messed everything up once again. Good going idiot.

   After waking off stage my pulse starts to pound in my head and neck. The room became unbearably hot.

"Hey can someone turn the ac on?" I plead.

I need to take this undershirt off and take a cold shower. Maybe I'm just overheated from the show. I turn around to go the showers, suddenly my legs give out. My whole body is pulsating, as it hits the ground, my head smacks the concrete floor. The pain stemming from my arm is unbearable. I let out serval screams in pain. My whole body starts to shake in pain. I feel the pulsating the most from my arm. The shooting pain radiating all over my body. Keeping me from moving, the feeling of my body exploding. 

"Okay Ashton. We get it you fell. Quit being dramatic." Calum says.

Get up. Nothing is wrong with you.

I can't get up, the pain intensifies more in my arm. The screaming is now endless. I feel like I've been lit on fire. The whole world is shaking. My eyes won't focus. I can't feel anything but the heat. My stomach churns hard, involuntarily I start to gag, nothing is coming out, please let this be the end of me. Please let this be the end of my misery. 

"Oh shit.... I don't think he's being dramatic." Someone says, I can't make out what's going on, my body is giving out. 

"Call 9-1-1, I think something is actually wrong." Another voice says.

I can't tell whose speaking. But I don't want to go to hospital. I try to move my body but I can't get it to respond. Laying helplessly on the ground.  Everything is telling me to get up. I can't. I'm useless. Fuck.

"Please....let me die." I utter, letting my true thoughts come out.

Slowly the world turns to grey and then darkness consumes me.