Scars

Part 2//Abuse//Walker

Song:The Thrill Of It All by Sam smith

Walker's POV
"Yeah. I mean he isn't my super hero at school, but then again at school no one is my super hero. Kod says that he loves me but we all know that if he really loved me he wouldn't beat me senceless like he does with the rest of his biker friends." I heard her say making my heart stop.
"No one will ever love me like Kyle did. And no one no matter who Kyle made that vow with will never be able to love me. Now I understand why my father wants me dead. I'm legit useless." I heard her say and my heart shattered into peices. No Vana. Don't say that. I love you so much more then Kyle ever did and ever will. I am your vow of saftey and I know that I am doing a shitty job but promise me that you won't give up. I don't wanna hurt you but this is who I am. My father placed her on the bed and then he ran to get my mother. I stood in the door way looking at her and noticing Jones, crying?
"She will be fine." I said out loud catching his attention.
"What do you mean?" Jones asked and stood up off the bed.
"Trust me she has seen a lot worse through her father. She was almost pregnant, or at least we though that she was but my mom did an ultra sound and she was fine." I said and shrugged my shoulders.
"I really just need her to move to LA with me. She would love it there. Plus she would be out of our fathers clutches and she wouldn't have to worry about pain anymore." He said and sighed making my stomach fold inside out.
"LA?" I chocked out.
"Yeah, that's where I live. It's really nice out there but she keeps telling me after she graduates. But with the rate it's looking and hat my father said earlier, she will be dead before she graduates. Plus every time I come home the abuse just gets worse, making me want to just pack up her bags and tell her that she is coming with me and that her and I are never coming back." Jones mumbled making me bite my tougne trying not to fight for her to stay here. With me.
"Why aren't you protecting her?" He chocked up looking down making my head shoot up to look at him. A tear rolled down his cheek.
"Remember that day that you made the vow with Kyle and I? That you would protect her no matter the cost?" He asked walking closer to me balling his fists at his sides making me back up into the wall. He balled the collar of my shirt in his fist and lifted me off the ground pressing me agenst the wall.
"You sure are doing a shitty ass job. So if you will excuse me, take back that vow and I will take it over, and move her out to LA with me where she will not have to bring this horrid life with her. She will get a fresh start out in LA and might actually be happy instead of this little hell town in Syracuse." Jones mumbled looking at me with his eyes glassed over yet still intimidating.
"Never." I gritted through my teeth as Jones held my shirt a little tighter.
"I was the one that was given that vow and I will protect her no matter the cost. I know I am shit at it now but I promise I will protect her with my life." I gritted again.
"If you fail me so help me god-" Jones started and we both turned our heads to a moving corspe. Havana.
"VANA!" Jones yelled as he ran to her side as she let out a groan in pain.
"What's wrong, where are you hurting??" Jones asked scared.
"Every where." She mumbled and let out a little laugh.
"Do you want anything??" Jones asked holding her hand.
"My book and pencils. I need to write before I forget everything." Vana mumbled and looked at Jones.
"I don't know where that is V." he said and sighed.
"I can go get them if you want Havana." I said making her face light up. She nodded her head as I slipped on my shoes and ran across the street to her house and climbed up the side of her house to her room. I hopped through her window and turned on my flashlight on my phone lighting up the dark room with shades of purple and earaser shavings covering her desks and books and papers and pens throughout her room. I walked around her room and found her bag, full of paper, notebooks, pens and pencils. I picked up her bag and through it over my arm making some papers fall, and I quickly glanced at one that cought my attention.
Mistake Made
One after one,
two, three, four,
I can't keep myself sane
This is not working.. I should just give up.
No one can keep me from saying stuff
Things can never be the same.
I am hurt and broken on the inside
And nobody gives a care.
I feel like I have cuffs on,
Yet nobody will nor can take them off.
My heart is locked and not to be open by anyone
And I have nothing to give anymore.
My soul jumped out of my body that regretfull day,
And my heart just said that I am done.
I as a whole will never be the same,
But I know I can split in two.
My mother gave birth birth to a mistake,
Or thats what father always says.
And that mistake is me.
I have found myself in the darkness
And there is no turning back nor escape door.
And no light to be seen there,
But I just want to see the light.
Or atleast my super man.
But in my sad story, that doesn't excist.
I placed the paper back on the ground and covered my mouth trying not to scream and murder her father that was in the room right next to me. I placed the paper back on the table to see a in bold writing, Another Bully Story and that instantly grabbed my attention. The first page had a short paragraph which read.
I understand 100% of you Walker,and I would do anything to have you in my life, and as my best friend. Rip out my heart and shatter it to peices just like any other day or rip out my ear rings, I really don't care. I will feel all the pain that you give to me because I love you and will do whatever I have to to keep you in my life.
"You belong with me and I belong with you"
I clossed my eyes and shuttered as I turned the page instantly regretting it.
Entry one,, Walker
You don't wanna fuck with me
Because you are a grown ass bitch
And the only person that I care about is me.
I have something to say then i'll say it.
Just from day to day,
You will never see the true me
Hidden behind the leather jacket and hockey jersey,
And you do, well sweetheart I promise
You will not like the real me the way I can.
And if you have a problem with that cool
Because I am not mister nice guy
So go call 911
But that won't go and do shit.
You were the one who used to care about me
And that's where it was at.
But you see now
What you thought I was
And you were wrong.
Because I will never love you,
Nor will I ever care about you.
I felt all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I read what she thought I thought of her. Like damn, I mean it's good and the words know how to hit me in all the right places but, it wasn't true at all. I flipped the page to see it all tear stained and ink smeared down the page. The words were visible, but I was still scared to read them.
Entry two,, Havana
He could never love me
He will never love me
He would never love me
He can't ever love me
He should never love me
Because I am always willing to risk it all
As he leaves me to rot in the rain
Because a man like him, with such power,
could,
would,
should,
NEVER,
love a no one,
Like me.
I dropped the book out of my hands and backed away from it like it was the plauge. I know that people think that physical abuse was horrible, and I mean it is. Yet she is my emotional punching bag. Literally. And it looks like I am hers. Just with her words. And the way that her words cut and stabbed into me and my heart from ever angle, now that is the worst abuse some one could ever go through. And I instantly regret doing all those horrible things to her. But when she comes back to school on Monday, I won't remember any of this. I will just remember what she is to me and what I am to her. Just another punching bag, me with my fists and her with her words. Waiting for one of us to fall to peices and forfit. But I as Walker Jobes, regret and feel nothing.

HOLY CRAP THESE WORDS HAVE ME SHOOK. The poems did not come from me, they came from my best friend Christain. I asked him if he wanted to help me and he said of course and I feel like I wouldn't be able to explain Havana and how powerfull words really are and how they can murder people or revive people from the inside out, without his help. Anyways new chapter on Wednesday and don't forget to color that lil star orange and comment what you think and don't forget to add to yalls reading lists so you see when I update!! Love you all and untill next time,, PEACE