TROUBLE.

Piece of Mind

"It takes 30 days to form a habit and it takes twice as long to break one. Relapsing is apart of the process you know?"

September 2018

Y/n stared at the unopened letter in her hands. She'd been holding on to it for two weeks now, shoving it in her sock drawer and only taking it out when she was in her feelings. This was the third letter Slim had written her since May and she didn't know what to do with it. She hadn't opened any of them. She didn't want to, in  fear of reading his words and falling for him all over again. She was doing pretty good on not backsliding.

After her first visit, she hadn't been back– just like she'd told herself. It's not like she hadn't thought about going back on her word. She thought about it a lot actually but the way Slim touched her; the way she allowed him to touch her and the fact that she'd just been able to stop reminiscing about it, made her angry at no one but herself. The thought that she would've willingly taken him back with just one kiss made her stomach turn. The shit he'd put her and her family in the middle of should've been enough for her to be done forever. Y/n couldn't stand the fact that Slim had such a hold on her and that only made her fight even more against her feelings.

In her mind, the only way to break that hold was to cut off all contact with him. After accepting his calls for another month, she was officially three months into her Slim detox and although there was no contact with him, She was the most indecisive she'd ever been in her life and her emotions were still battling and all over the place. She'd made up her mind and she'd stick to her decision. No matter how much it bothered her. He'd called at least twice a month and finally stopped calling when he accepted she wouldn't answer. His last contact was via Big Moe with a message simply saying "Take care of yourself. "

6 months. He'd been gone for 6 months. They hadn't even been together that long  yet her heart still ached for his familiarity. As much as Y/n told herself she couldn't deal with Slim, she still cared about his well being. She thought of actually sending him the two letters she'd written him but she refused to go visit him.

He wasn't good for her. She had to move on to healthier company and she felt like she was finding that in Tremaine....yet she sat in her kitchen contemplating opening Slim's letters; feeling guilty about what she felt and what she thought she should feel.

Takes twice as long to break a habit. Relapsing is a part of the process." Dylan's words replayed in her mind as she tapped her foot on the kitchen floor.

"You gon' open it today oooor....?" Dylan leaned on the kitchen counter where she was sitting. He'd watched her sulk about the piece of mail since it came and although he was trying to empathize with her, her less than content attitude was bringing him down. However, he still had to come check on his friend. She still wasn't 100% herself and he refused to leave her alone until he knew she was good....even if he was obnoxious some days. It made no difference anyway. They'd be living together in less than a month and they'd have no choice but to put up with each other's nitpicking.

Y/n shrugged at his question making Dylan huff in frustration.

"Ay Díos- you want me to open it? You know I don't care." He said rolling his neck before reaching out to take the letter form her hands. She quickly pulled it away from him and held it to her chest, eyeing her best friend like he just violated her.

"No! Get outta here! I'll read it when I'm ready!" She snapped, getting up from the table and walking toward her living room.