My Accidental Husband, Not Father

02 | Secrets

Nowa

Secrets. We would never admit them under the harsh light of day. We bury them. We put them out of sight, out of mind. But the thing about secrets is that usually, they don't stay buried forever...

I had a secret. I buried it deep into the recesses of my mind. It was painful, even three months later, to think about.But none the less I made a promise to never reveal it so I couldn't. This particular secret was so big, that if the truth ever came, the consequences could be devastating. I didn't have many secrets anymore, after all one secret was enough for a life time of events.

"I am Sorry," The voice moved me away from my thoughts as I looked up from my bed to find Dana all dressed up on the doorway of my room ,leaning on the door frame. 

Dana had always felt symptomatic toward me whenever Mama reminded me of my biological mother. Sometimes I even feel guilty whenever I remember her but why doesn't Dana feel the same way.

"I am used to it," I breathed. "I don't blame her,I mean I sympathize with her," I tried to smile to not make my sister feel a thing.  "She got stuck raising us, as she always says 'the devil's seeds'" I laugh trying to make it sound funny but fail miserably.

"Can we change the subject?" She dodged the bullet like she always does. "Mama wants to go to the mall so I am taking her, want to come with ?" She asked all cheerful.

I shake my head, "Not really my thing,"

"Ya , you are just a cheap person" She added noticing that I was wearing her old PJS.

"I am recycling old thing, I am not cheap" I defensively answered.

She giggled. "Recycle my ass, I wore that two days ago and you just continue stealing my stuff instead of buying new stuff with your OWN mone-" she emphasize on 'own' but was suddenly , interpreted by a loud yelling.

"Come on, Dana, I don't have all day" My mother yelled from the living room downstairs.

"I am going to go to Sabirah's house" I informed my sister before she left the room.

She nodded. "Fine. but try to come before Mama and I arrive, I will send you a message" Dana and I knew how much mama hated my uncle's wife that lived right across the road from us.

I walked up toward my closet to wear the Abaya as I quickly changed and snatched up my bag with the house keys that I found laying under my mother pillow and I made my way toward my uncle's house.

I walked slowly on the road, Hoping.

I slipped under the caution tape that marked the restricted road area in-front of our house and walked over as I made my way toward the house.

They tried to fix the hole on the road for almost a year now but they never finished, they thought there was oil under that area and they never found it. The small road had been a restricted area ,because of the danger from construction.

The danger of this road was one of the main reasons, why I kept heading toward my uncle's house. Each time, I hoped that something would happen to me, but each time I left the holed road disappointed. Nothing ever happened.

A shiny, blue Porsche caught my eye. It was standing beside my uncle's house.

Sometimes, I wished to find some tutorial on Halal suicide but never had any luck.

I put my hands on the door knob as I opened the door after ringing the bell and no one answered.

I caught my uncle standing in the study room. Stopping momentarily as I heard voices from the there, but shrugged and continued walking.

"Salam," I offered as I entered the study room. I was surprised to find that my uncle wasn't alone, He stood next to a man.

"I am sorry" I quickly apologized since I entered the room without even knocking since I thought my uncle was all alone.

"Its okay, my child" My uncle laughed as his voice suddenly deepens. "This is Ghaith Jaber, He was a friend of your late father," He sadly informed.

"My condolences" He formally says with a husky voice as he offers his hands.

  My eyes were filled with tears as soon as I remembered the first day after the accident with every one offering their condolences and looking toward my uncle who resembled him so much, it sets grief on my heart  ,but I say nothing with my lips except that which "to Allah we belong, and to Him we return."

I looked at his hand as if it contained germs. How could he be disrespectful ! , offering his hands to a lady to shake. I mean doesn't he know our tradition.. 

And who says 'condolences' now a days.

I moved my gaze gradually from his hands to his feet as I tried to take in his appearance.

Oh, damn! This Man was beyond gorgeous, but was I allowed to look, right? One look , I can't blink..

He was at least ten years older than me, but anyone could see how attractive he was; from his tousled bronze-like colored hair, to his thick black eyebrows, his deep black eyes, his chiseled jaw covered with a dust of hair and those luscious lips. Damn, he was perfection.

 He was decked out in his black jacket that stretched over his broad shoulders , black ripped jeans that are so tight they're basically a new layer of skin. He has the body of a supermodel, I could give him that.

astaghfirullah! Why am I even looking at him, ONE LOOK.

I lowered my gaze.

"Sorry," he moved his hands.

Silent filled the room before he broke it.

"I sometimes forget that I returned to my homeland," He laughed. His laugh was like melted chocolate.

"Oh yeah, How is Sweden ?"

"How are the kids adjusting?"

I couldn't believe it...He was married!  I mean of course I could believe it, he was drop dead attractive. How could that man be single.

"How is your father ?"

My uncle showered him with more questions and this was my sign to leave.

As I was about to leave the room, my uncle stopped me. "Nowa, If you are looking for Sabirah , she left with her mother to the mall"

Great!

Why didn't I call before I rushed over...  I am just plain Stupid !

"Oh ,OK" I mumbled as I left that house.