My Accidental Husband, Not Father

17 | Young.

Nowa

After I finished praying and we had lunch, Dana dragged me to her room that she shares with two other girls. I sat next to her on the black leather couch in the small, but cozy room, making small talk about nothing related to Ghaith.

I knew Dana all to well and I knew that she couldn't sit at this nonsense. "Nowa, I know you didn't come here to talk to me about what happened in the tv show you're watching. Or the island."

I knew all too well that she would see right through me and that is why, I wanted to talk to her about a problem that wasn't really as important as what I was going to tell her but I need to start somewhere as I wanted to tell her in a different approach.

"I guess not, " I looked down at my feet. "I found something out recently that's really affecting my relationship with Ghaith. I thought I could handle it without your help, but I don't know if I should or could. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do, or how to react. I know you don't like to talk about him, but..."

Dana was waiting patiently as I finally talked. "Ghaith told me to take care of his kids as in like to spend time with them. The older one is ten years old. I'm not even eight years older than this kid. I was still playing with dolls when she was born. It's been kind of a reality check..." I trailed off.

"As your older sister, Nowa, I think you've gotten yourself into an adult relationship that you're not ready for, that you were never ready for, to be honest. And now, a big obstacle has presented itself that was inevitable to pop up eventually, anyway. If not the children, something else. He's ten years older than you."

I sunk down into the couch, crossing my arms and cringing at the sound of my sister's voice. I felt like I was a 12-year-old girl again, not a mature woman who is married.

I hated to admit it but I couldn't do anything about this. I couldn't just ask Ghaith for a divorce since he would tell my sister what happened three months go ~ how I was almost sexually assaulted , How my brother was killed under the hands of his own sister, or worst of all and that was how my father, who my sister cherished and loved, wasn't even our father ~ Those secrets were all hidden from that night.

I felt a little nauseous just remembering what happened. I went to hold my sister and then I just started crying into her sweater for ten minutes, each tear was more painful than the other. I thought she would complain about her sweater and how I ruined it but she didn't.

Her phone had Adan app and it reminded us to pray Asr. We both got up and walked toward the bathroom before we went to pray.

"Nowa..." She began after we finished praying.

"I think I will ask Allah (SWT) for help about my situation, right now, all I want to do is change, get into bed, and fall asleep to a stupid chick flick about a girl much luckier than I feel right now."

"Can I ask you something Dana?" I asked.

"Shout,"

"Do you miss Baba ?" I asked and I sow her tears roll down her cheeks unbidden, just the way it rains in London.

"How could I not.." She began. " When I became fatherless at the same time I became aimless and felt  worthless, powerless, heartless and helpless. I miss him," She heavily breathed.

Some may say she was over stating it but it was true. Dana was not only my dad's nurse, but his friend ,his shield. She would always have the brightest smile when she was in the room with him and when he died , she locked herself in the room for two days and didn't talk to anyone. She continued, "His memories had become my heartbeats, Thinking about him was the only way I could live,"