Brian x Ellie

Family Life

Brian and Ellie's suite was a very loud place. It had been a week since Ellie had given birth to her and Brian's new litter, and already all four puppies had learned how to crawl, lift things, and perform other motor skills, and they were making quite the ruckus. Brian and Ellie were sitting on the couch, watching their new children. " Huh. Well, it's better than mine and Stewie's children. And their dead. " Brian said. " Brian, we have absolutely no experience as parents, so how are we supposed to do this? " Ellie asked. " Well, most couples rely on their friends for help. Maybe I should call up Lois or Stewie. " 

Stewie ended up coming over, and did a damn good job. He fed all the puppies and put them to bed. " Thanks, Stewie. " Brian said. " Alright. Now don't come crying to me if any of them get their hands on some porn, because their-theirs just no coming back from that. " Stewie said, and left. That night, Brian and Ellie put the puppies to bed together in their bedroom. " Man, being a mother is hard work. " Ellie exclaimed as she and Brian got ready for bed. " Yeah, well, meeting and having sex with you was totally worth it. " Brian said with a smile. " Oh, you. " Ellie said, and she and Brian snuck under the covers for some sex. 

Later in the night, Ellie had dozed off and Brian was watching TV when the phone rang; it was Peter. " Hey Brian. How's it going? " he asked. " Oh you know. Just doing what every average dad does. Watching TV after the wife falls asleep and praying the kids don't hear any swear words. " Brian joked. " Oh, okay, well uh, listen, me and Lois were just wondering, you and Ellie are probably totally confused on what to do right now, so we were thinking maybe you and Ellie could drop the puppies off at our place this weekend  and have a couple of nights to yourselves. " 

Brian thought it over and looked at Ellie, who was starting to stir. " Well, I don't know, I mean I'd have to talk it over with Ellie, and check if we're free on the weekend. " he said. " Oh, okay. Well, uh, let me know in the morning. Oh, and how far away are the sta-? " Peter started, before Brian hung up. As Brian put away his phone, Ellie sat up, rubbing her eyes. " Who the hell calls his dog at 10 PM? "

Brian sighed. " Listen Ellie, I know what I'm about to say might sound a bit crazy, but, uh, Peter and Lois want to look after the puppies for the weekend. " Ellie's eyes widened. " WHAT?! Just one week after they come into the world, your family wants to take them away from us? " she yelled. " Sssh. Not so loud. " Brian tried to calm his wife. " Listen, I know your stressed out. I'm stressed out, too. That's why we need to take up this opportunity while it stands. Hell, maybe while their gone, we could brush up on our parenting skills a little. " Ellie paused, then heaved a soft sigh. " Okay. "

On Friday, Brian and Ellie drove the puppies up to Spooner Street. " Alright, just make sure they all take their naps and drink their bottles. Oh, and none of them have names yet, we're still working on that. " Brian was just finishing up his list on how to look after the puppies, and Peter and Lois had just about died from boredom. Ellie was sitting in the kitchen with Meg. " So, what's it feel like to have a family that actually loves you? " Meg asked. " Oh, I don't know. " Ellie said. " Ever since the puppies came, I've just been so stressed out with everything. I don't know how the hell Brian does it. " At that moment, Brian walked in. " Come on Ellie. The kids are all settled in, let's go. " Ellie sighed. " Alright. "

Brian was remarkably chatty on on the ride home. He was planning the rest of the days events. "... and then, we'll go eat out at the new Italian restaurant, and then we can go home and fool around in bed. " He went on and on and on. Ellie just looked out the window glumly.

That night, Ellie wasn't really in the mood for sex. " Come on Ellie. You've been acting like such a downer since we sent the puppies up to Quahog! I mean, do they really matter that much to you? " Brian was obviously going through sex withdrawal. " Uh, YES! What kind of father are you, asking questions like that? I went through HELL to have those puppies and now you dropped them off at a house with a bunch of idiots who can't even raise their own two or three kids, I honestly can't remember! " Ellie panted heavily, and then burst into tears. Brian just stared, his jaw hung open.

The next morning, while Ellie was asleep, Brian drove up to Quahog and picked up the puppies. The family was actually relieved. " You will not believe how big a pain in the ass they were! " Stewie whined to his friend. " They ripped up the newspaper, they trashed the bedroom, and they ate all the Cool Hwhip! " Brian just smiled. " Yeah, well, they may be a big pain in the ass... but their OUR big pain in the ass! " Stewie rolled his eyes. " Whatever. Your gonna give them all herpes anyway. "

Brian drove the kids back home, and Ellie was overjoyed to see them. " So, what do you think we should name them? " Ellie asked. " I don't know. Probably something that won't get them laid for a few years. " Brian responded. They eventually settled on names- Amy, Hopper, Anderson, and Wendy. " There. That should give them a couple of years. " Brian said.