Brian x Ellie

Alexa Takes Over

It was a regular sunny spring day. At Brian and Ellie's suite, however,  Ellie and her puppies were huddled inside on the couch, watching a crappy kids show. After the show had ended, Brian came into the house, carrying a box. " Hey, Ellie. Guess what's inside? " Brian asked his dog wife. " Brian, please don't tell me it's a bunch of dog treats again. I'm gonna be sick. " Ellie said. " No, actually, it's something even better. " Brian said. He opened the package and dumped all the packing peanuts onto the floor. The puppies dove off the couch and started to roll around and play in the pink peanuts. Ellie sighed. " Brian, what did I tell you about not making a mess in front of the kids? "

Brian reached into the box and pulled out a very familiar gadget. There was a blue ring that circled the top, and four buttons on top with Amazon engraved at the bottom. Ellie recognized it immediately. " Oh, its an Amazon Echo. " She said, and went on her phone, clearly uninterested. " I know, right? This baby can do all sorts of things, like set alarms, or turn on TV shows! " Brian said excitedly. He spoke into the machine to demonstrate. " Hey, Alexa. " The blue ring appeared. " Set my alarm to 6 am tomorrow. " The blue ring disappeared, and Alexa responded. Okay, I set your alarm for 6 am. Brian grinned at Ellie. " See, it- wait, WHAT? No, no no no! I don't want to wake up at 6! That's too early! Damn it, how do I undo what I just did? " He started fiddling around with the thing.

" Yeah, well, that's pretty much it, Brian. " Ellie said, and she took the kids upstairs for their naps. went upstairs, away from the smell of packing peanuts everywhere. Brian smirked. He had another big surprise for Ellie that he was saving for later.

That night, after the puppies were in bed, Brian and Ellie laid down on the couch in the living room and started watching TV. " I can't believe you bought that stupid thing. " Ellie said angrily. " We already have, like, 3 electronics in this house that we don't use. " Brian shrugged. " Hey, you never know when we might need it. Alexa, I mean. " Brian replied. " Besides, I've got another suprise I think you might like. " Brian left the room for a few minutes before returning with another package. " Sweetheart, can you PLEASE not dump out all the peanuts again? " Ellie pleaded. So Brian simply reached into the box and pulled out another Amazon Echo, except this one was pink and had a heart on it. 

Ellie groaned at the sight of it. " Brian, come on! This is a waste of money! " Brian put a finger to her lips. " Ssssh. Ellie, listen- this isn't just any ordinary Alexa. It's a LOVE Alexa! It's for couples only! " Ellie rolled her eyes. " Brian, that's totally ridiculous! You're just trying to get me to fall in love with the whole 'Alexa' thing. " Brian huffed. " Ellie, come on, at least show a LITTLE interest. Besides, you'd be surprised at how much lovey-dovey stuff this baby can do. " He spoke into it. " Love Alexa, what's the best Mother's Day gift for a dog in 2018? " Love Alexa responded. Preferably a bouquet of tennis ball scented flowers. As soon as she said that, Brian pulled out a bouquet of flowers, that had a hint of tennis ball on them.

Ellie took the bouquet and smelled it. " Well, it smells pretty good, since I'm a dog and all, but I'm still not convinced. " she said. " Well, prepare to be amazed, because Love Alex can also do magic! " Brian said. " Hey, Love Alexa, how hungry is Ellie right now? " Once again, Love Alexa talked back. Ellie is beginning to get hungry. A few seconds later, Ellie's stomach growled and she placed her hands on it like she couldn't believe it. " See? " Brian said. " Now do you believe me? " Ellie rolled her eyes. " Yeah, yeah, I guess. " Brian smiled. " Good. Now come on, let's get to  bed. " He patted Love Alexa. " You'll see our little fortune teller again tomorrow. " He went upstairs. Ellie just looked on, and she rubbed her stomach as it growled again and muttered, " Shut up, belly. "

The next morning, Ellie woke up at 6 in the morning, hearing loud laughter coming from downstairs. She went down the stairs and saw the puppies asking Alexa all kinds of crazy questions and giggling hysterically. Brian was sitting over at the kitchen island , drinking his morning coffee with Love Alex next to him. Ellie walked over. " Good morning, honey. " Brian greeted. " See, I got the puppies away from the peanuts, and now their always around Alexa. " Ellie looked over at the puppies. They were having lots of fun. " Yeah, I guess. So, listen, we haven't had sex in a while. Want to sneak up into the bedroom later and fool around? " she asked. " Eh. Maybe. I kinda wanna hang out with LA some more. LA is Love Alexa. " Love Alexa beeped.

Ellie was surprised. " Brian, you'd prefer a toy over making love to me? That's totally stupid! " she said angrily. " Hey, no swearing in front of the kids! Besides, we can have sex any old time. Alexa- especially LOVE Alexa- don't come around that often. " Ellie threw her paws up in the air, walked out of the house, and drove to the store.

That night, Brian and Ellie were snuggling on the couch, a blanket wrapped around them. Ellie nuzzled her head against Brian's shoulder. " Thank god you took some time away from that thing. " Ellie said. " Yeah, well, I'm only taking a break for now. I'm gonna see if Love Alexa has some birthday ideas on it, too. " Ellie sighed. " Seriously, Brian, there's more to life than just what Amazon has to offer! " Brian shrugged. " Yeah, and I'll try to make room for some of that in the future. " Ellie tilted her head back and closed her eyes. " Can we just go to bed? "

Up in the bedroom, Ellie wrapped her arms around Brian. " Come ON, babe. I'm gonna have to resort to porn if we don't start screwing around. " But Brian wasn't even listening. He was already talking to Love Alexa, who he had moved up into the bedroom. " Hey, Love Alexa, what percentage of marriage has porn solved? " Exactly 29.5% of marriages, it responded. Ellie put her head under her pillow and pressed it against her ear lobes. She wished all this Alexa nonsense would end already. And that's when she got an idea.

The next night, Brian came back from the Drunken Clam, he drunkly stumbled into the house and went upstairs. " Hey, Ellie, sorry I'm late, I was-" Brian started to say, and suddenly snapped sober. Ellie was in bed, reading a book, and Love Alexa was nowhere to be found. " Uh, Ellie, where's LA? " he asked. " In California. " Ellie jokingly said back. " No, I mean, where's Love Alexa? Actually, either I was just hallucinating, or the other Alexa's gone, too. " Ellie shrugged. " Hey, what can I say? You were ADDICTED to that thing! So I had them both taken away. " Brian was shocked. " You WHAT?! But your birthday is right around the corner, and I don't wanna screw up and get a soggy tennis ball-scented bouquet! "

Ellie got up and held Brian's hands. " Sweetheart, there's mot to life than just technology. And now that those stupid machines are gone, you have ME! " Brian smiled. " Huh. I guess your'e right. I'm sorry I haven't really been paying any attention to you lately. So... want to slip under the covers for a little while? " Ellie already knew the answer to that question.