Brian x Ellie

Bedtime Problems

Brian pulled into the driveway of the house, exhausted. It had been a long week of working at the Stop 'N Shop, and he was ready to relax for the weekend with his wife, Ellie. When he went inside, the puppies were playing on a LeapFrog. " Hey kids, where your mom? " Brian asked, taking off his coat. " Upstairs. " they said. When Brian went upstairs, he found Ellie in her and Brian's bedroom, and was surprised to see that the bed had been changed: there were now wooden pillars on either side and drapes hanging down. 

" Hey, what the hell is this? " Brian asked. Ellie turned around. " Oh, hey, sweetheart. Just fixing up our bedroom. " she said cheerfully. " Okay, welll... how exactly did you manage to fix it up like THAT? " he asked. " Oh. Well, I got some money from my job, and I used it to buy some more parts for our bed. " Ellie answered. " What? How much money did they give you? I only get, like, ten dollars every week. Which is expected for a place with rotten food and serial killers. " Ellie rolled her eyes. " Well, maybe after a while they'll give you some more money so you can buy expensive stuff. Anyway, now that we have some more isolation in bed, wanna have sex after a long week of work? " Brian smiled. " I think you know the answer to that question. "

On Monday, Brian came home with some exciting news. " Guess who just got a lot of money to buy expensive stuff for his family? " Brian asked the pups. They had no idea what he was talking about. So he told Ellie, and she was overjoyed. " What are you gonna spend the money on? " she asked. " I don't know. Maybe I'll wait until something comes up. " Brian replied.

And in the middle of the night, something did come up. And it was pretty damn crazy. Brian and Ellie were asleep when Brian woke up. He heard a banging noise, and then glass shattering, and then the puppies started crying. Brian jumped out of bed and ran out into the puppies bedroom. The windows were all broken and there was glass all over the floor. Brian told the puppies to stay in bed so they wouldn't hurt their feet, and inched his way over to the window. And what he saw more or less surprised him.

Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe were standing out back, blind drunk. They were throwing rocks at the windows. " Yeah. Take that asshole! See how you like this! " Peter yelled, chucking some rocks at the house. He obviously didn't know who he was talking to. " DAMN IT PETER, GO HOME BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE! " Brian yelled at the top of his lungs. " Alright, alright, you-you win this time, you old hag, bu-but we'll be ba-back! " Peter yelled back, with a slur. Then he, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe stumbled away. 

After checking the puppies to make sure they weren't hurt, Brian got back in bed. Ellie woke up and rubbed her eyes. " What happened? " she asked. " Oh, nothing. But I know what I'm gonna spend that money on now. " Brian said. " Anyway, go back to sleep. "

The next day after work, Brian went out and bought an alarm system for the suite. He installed it as soon as he got home. " There. " he said. " Now our house will be safe. " Ellie held his hand. " I'm proud of you for doing the responsible thing, and not the violent thing, like going to Peter's house and beating the living crap out of him. " Brian chuckled nervously, trying to hide the fact that he already did that for extra guarantee.

That weekend was the puppies birthday, and it was a nice, sunny day. Ellie told Brian that with their money, they could buy a bouncy house, a clown, and some balloons. " Alright,  I sent all the invitations out to the parents- you've got the cake covered, right? " Ellie asked Brian at breakfast. Brian shrugged. " I don't know. I guess. " After breakfast, he went out and bought the cake at the bakery. When he came back, he saw cars parked in front of the driveway. " Huh. The other kids must be here. " he thought. Brian tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. At first Brian was confused, but then he remembered the security system he just bought. It had locked him out! It didn't matter. Brian knocked on the door and Ellie answered, looking worn out.

" Oh thank God, your back! The kids just got here and it's already a living hell. " Brian went into the living room and saw the puppies were jumping up and down on the furniture and tearing up magazines- they obviously thought they had an incentive to do it since their friends were here and it was their birthday. Later, they all sat down and, after everybody sang "Happy Birthday", they practically wolfed down their cake. Then they headed outside. None of the kids would go near the clown, and their sharp claws quickly put an end to the balloons and bouncy house. By the time the kids left, Brian, Ellie, and even the other parents were exhausted.

That night in bed, Brian thought he was going to fall right asleep, but he didn't. Neither did Ellie. The puppies, on the other hand, were sleeping like angels, despite the days events. " God, I can't sleep. " Ellie muttered. " No kidding. " Brian said. " Plus my back is hurting. Maybe it's just because of what we went through today. " But the next night, the pain continued. " Damn it. Maybe it's the mattress. " Brian thought. " Well, maybe we should get a new one. " Ellie suggested. " Yeah. And maybe we won't turn it into an entire episode, like some people... " Brian muttered.

The next day after work, Brian and Ellie paid Stewie overtime while they went out and carefully picked out a comfy mattress. They slept like logs that night. Unfortunately, their delightful slumber was cut short. Early in the morning, Brian was woken up by the sound of the phone ringing. He picked it up, and Daniel was on the other end. " Hey, Brian. Listen, we kind of have an emergency down at the Stop 'N Shop. Do you think you could drive down and help out? " Brian was none too pleased. He looked at Ellie, and then at the clock. It was near 3 am. " Are you crazy? It's like three in the morning? " he bellowed into the phone. " Please Brian. I'll understand if you come to work tired in the morning. " Daniel said.

Brian sighed. He didn't really have a choice. " Alright, I'll be there soon. " he said, and hung up. As he was getting dressed (putting on his collar) Ellie woke up. " Where the hell are you going? " she asked. " Oh, there's an emergency at work, and of course Daniel thought i'd be the perfect employee to drop everything and go help. " Ellie groaned and rolled over. " Just be back as soon as possible. "

Luckily, Brian handled the situation perfectly. Apparently, one of the employee knocked over a giant tub of LEGO's, and they were scattered all over the floor (and just try stepping on a LEGO brick sometime.) When Brian went home, however, he faced a much bigger problem: he was locked out again! The security system was keeping him out of the house, and he knew Ellie and the puppies were asleep. Brian ended up sleeping on the wet grass until morning, when Stewie came to look after the puppies. " Brian? What the hell are you doing? " he asked. Brian climbed to his feet, covered in sticks and grass. " I don't know, but I need some beer. "

Ellie was just coming downstairs when Brian and Stewie went in. " Oh hey, Brian. Daniel just called. He said he felt bad and that you could take the day off from work today. " Stewie grinned. " Huh. Looks like I can take the day off too, huh Brian? Brian? " Brian didn't answer. He was already asleep on the couch.

When Brian woke up, he was starving. The last thing he ate was yesterday's dinner. As he ate lunch with the puppies, who gobbled up the rest of the birthday cake as dessert, he realized that Ellie would be locked out because of the security system, and so would he, and it would just keep going on and on and on. Brian knew there was only one thing to do: after lunch Brian took out the security system, threw it in the garage, and called Stewie over for some fun with baseball bats.