The Life

xi. (UNEDITED)

America Singer

Maxon and I were sitting in the dining room finishing our dinner. It took all the willpower I had to keep myself from fidgeting or bashing my head against the wall.

It's been five days since we have received the note. There had been nothing else, no notes, no unusual occurrences. Though, Maxon and I are still distant, with the space between us growing icy the last couple of days. Aspen, being my personal guard is always there. It's reassuring to see him, to know I have someone who has my back and is always by my side.

During times like this I just want to set my crown down and leave, but I'm not here for the crown. I'm here for Maxon, so I have to try and I am trying to the best of my ability to make a things work but it's getting hard.

The dining room was enormous, with just the two of us and heaps of food. It wasn't like the selection anymore, it was much lonelier. The only company I have now a days is Silvia, and I dislike her with every bone in my body. It's a wonder why I haven't sacked her yet.

I let out a sigh. Things were getting worse than tough.

"America, I'll be in my office completing some urgent work matters," Maxon states stiffly before leaving.

His eyes didn't have the same gleam. His voice didn't have the same laughter. Sometimes I wonder if the Maxon I loved was replaced by an alien. He wasn't the man I knew; he isn't the man I thought he was.

And me, there was nothing for me to do. As a Queen I only really do office work unless visitors are coming over to establish an alliance or if we are launching a new publication project.  For now my only job was to look pretty...and eventually provide the kingdom with heirs. I shuddered at the thought of one day being expected to do something I may or may not want to do.

I let my mind wander to all the things I could have done. America Singer, Illea's best violinist. America Singer, a famous pop singer. America Singer, world breaker. America Singer, World Changer. But if there was something I know, it was that the last two will become true, Queen or no Queen.

I almost hit myself for second guessing my life choices. Why am I regretting this? I chose Maxon knowing that the title of Queen would come with that. Today, I'll hit up with it but for the future I am going to change it. I am no doll to be toyed with. I am no Queen Amberly, who only believes the best about her husband and did only as she was told.

I smiled to myself as I stood to exit the dining room. There was hope in all of this. Hope for Maxon and I to change this country and to change the future. Yes, we are a piece of work ourselves but we're in progress of taking down the castes. Maxon is fighting with his advisors to eliminate the law allowing only male heirs to inherit the throne. We will bring equality to our country, no matter how painstakingly slow it may be.

I remember the day Maxon understood in the urgency of change.

Laughter continued to echo behind me. The party we were throwing for the nobles was quite the hit. With almost every one of them coming out to support both Maxon and my reign.

I let out a giggle, slightly intoxicated myself. I pushed the door to my room open. I was tired and Maxon had already left.

I made my way to my bed only to find Maxon pacing in front of it, roughly running his hands through his hairs.

He continued to pace, not noticing me. His jacket was off, flung on the bed, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.