Miss Popular and the Nerd

Ch. 23 Anticipation and Excitement

Chapter 23  

Anticipation and Excitement

Hannah POV  

My body has adjusted to the throwing up routine. I am really happy about it. Now I don't have to make myself throw up. It kind of makes me feel sick seeing my vomit in the toilet bowl but then again that is what I want. That is the only way to be perfect and feel perfect. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I know that now. And I will try my best to get there. Even if this is kind of like cheating to get there. Now at least I vomit without needing any help from my fingers. Which is great because now nobody will find out. There are no signs at all. Before I always had bite marks and the skin was coming off. But now the wounds are healing and I don't have any scars. Vomiting just comes naturally. Sometimes it comes unexpectedly but the more the merrier as I like to say. I am also happy that I don't have my period anymore. One less problem. The last time I was bulimic I also didn't have my period so I know that I have nothing to worry about. I have absolutely NO problem with that. I wonder what Nessi has to tell me that is SO important. Probably something stupid. It would surprise me if she ever used one of her brain cells. But if she had then she probably wouldn't be following me around like a puppy dog. I am kind of scared of telling her about me being bulimic again. But the great thing about her is that she accepts me with all my flaws and problems. I guess that is just what best friends do. I'll have to wait one more hour to find out what she has to say. I am really excited. I wonder why she picked the park for our meeting place. It is a really romantic place. Whatever. It doesn't really matter any way.  

I still can't get over the fact that Matt slept with Angie. I mean Angie. Hello? And then I found out all of it was a bet. That jerk. But I still love him. He is so perfect and lovable and kissable. Ugh... He is just an amazing person. I love him although he has imperfections. Correction: perfect imperfections. I love him with all my heart. He is the one for me! I know it. And I can feel it.  And I know he feels it too. If he feels the same way I do, which I know he does, we are perfect. We are like Barbie and Ken, Rose and Jack (apart from him dying) and every other perfect couple. Matt is just an awesome guy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He acts tough on the outside but is really sweet on the inside. And all those compliments he made me definitely weren't a lie. I know they weren't. He wouldn't let me think that he was a nice guy and then dump me. It was all because of his stupid friends. We would've ended up together sooner orlater. So in a way I actually have to thank them for bringing us together. I am still sitting on the floor next to the toilet bowl just dreaming of us.  

“What the fuck are doing in the bathroom that is taking 5 fucking hours?” Florence shouts and knocks on the door waking me up from my future life. I hate my sisters. I can't believe I let myself drift off like that. I don't want them to get suspicious. Last time I was bulimic I was so scraed that they would fing´d out and send me to some mental hospital that I made myself stop. It was hard but I evertually made it. 

“Just getting ready!” I say. Great excuse for making yourself throw up to be thin. Bravo brain! Nice work there. 

“Ready for what?” Adele screams. None of your business. 

“Life.” I say. Again, thanks brain for coming up with these great excuses!  

“Just get the fuck out of here!” they both scream. I surrender and leave the bathroom with both of my hands above my head. Hopefully they don't smell anything that could make them think of vomit. But luck has always been on my side so I will depend on it now again. I normally always spray perfume around the room to make it smell good and not like somebody just vomited. But now that I am under such time pressure I just quickly flush the toilet and leave the room. I am fully dressed and I put on all my make-up and am ready to go. Let's see what Vanessa has to say.

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