Miss Popular and the Nerd

Ch. 29 Blood

Chapter 29  

Blood  

Nessi POV

I run. Away from this mess. I just want to forget. Everything. Everything I just did and said. I am a disgrace to the life that was given to me. Hannah was the one for me but she ripped out my heart, crushed it to pieces, cellataped back together and forcefully stuck it into my chest again. That should explain how I feel right now. My life is not worth living anymore. Not that it ever was. I keep running and leave everything behind. I feel my veins pulsing. I am really tired but I keep running. I don't have the choice to stop. My legs won't let me. I feel sweat starting to build on my back but I am still running. Tears well up in my eyes. The wind is rushing through my hair. I want it to go on forever. But then I reach my house. I open the door and I am greeted by Cheyenne with a drink in her hand.

“Hey, honey! Cook. Now!” says the selfish bitch. I seriously feel like a maid around here. I can't really deal with her right now so I run into the kitchen and do what she wants me to. I cook. I take out the biggest knife in the kitchen and start cutting onions. I cut and cry. I am not sure if it is because of the onions or because of the things I am going through right now. Probably both. I don't really see anything because my tears are welling up and then the knife slips. It cuts my palm. I don't know why but I like the feeling. It stings but it relieves pain. I stare at the wound. The blood. I run upstairs to the bathroom and take the knife with me. I stare at my pale skin, the blue veins running underneath the thin covering. I cut again. Not my palm but my wrist.  The tip of the knife is sharp, ready to shave away my skin, leaving the red. Warm red. Only red. I can't stop myself. All of it is a blur. I can just hear the voices in my head.  

“What do you mean love you? I mean it in a friendly way. Don't you?”  

No. I love you. I really love. Not just in a friendly way. And I can't live without you! I don't want to live without you. I don't know how I will survive but I need you. I want you. Please come back to me. Don't leave me alone in this gruesome, unforgiving world. You are my saviour. You are perfect for me. I am in love with you. Please love me back! Don't do this to me. Don't reject me! Don't leave me!

“No. You don't. You really love me. Don't you?”  

I love you. I am useless without you. My life is worthless if I can't be with the one I love, the only one I will ever love. I can't do this anymore. I can't live anymore. I just want to die. I don't deserve this life. I am a failure. I am worthless. I cry and sob. I look down and see that I am sitting in a pool of blood. Blood and tears. I am ashamed of myself. I can't believe I did this to relieve the pain. I am a mistake. I was not meant to be. I should just end everything right now. No one would miss me anyway. But the thought of her keeps me alive. She is my saviour. She is my life. And if I can't have her there is nothing worth living for. I am interrupted when I hear Cheyenne knocking at the door. I take a white towel and clean up the floor. After I am finished the towel is blood red. Only red. Without one white spot. I grab the knife and run into my room. I change in to a baggy sweatshirt that covers my arms. I want to forget that I ever did that to myself. But I can't. It relieved all the pain and stress I had in me. I know it won't belong before it will build up again. So I know that I will do it again. I sit on my bed, running my hands through my hair. Then I hear the doorbell ring. Now who could that be?

------------------------------------

Red if anybody has suggestions for songs for chapter comment or message me. Vote and yadayadayada corrected